Life
by DySolo
Summary: JJ deals with life after the BAU. Could be JJ/Reid in future chapters.Rating could change.
1. Chapter 1

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**Author's Notes:**

**To those who have read my other stuff, I apologize for the lack of updates. School and Work has been intensely busy. I haven't been home other than to sleep as of lately. But! Things might be changing soon. I am working on a new chapter of Magnet (my Spencer Reid/Harper Hilman story) and have re-read Still Watching (Lila/Reid) and am thinking of restarting to write that one (which I have - check it out!) And What Happens (Reid/OFC Reid/JJ)has been updated too. Thank you for putting up with me! **

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She never wanted to leave the BAU.

They were her family. Her brothers and sisters, her uncles, her parents away from home. They kept her grounded and safe and strong. They kept her sane and even with everything they saw, happy. They had been through so much with each other.

But the Pentagon… it was less traveling, less hours, more time with Henry and Will and it was…easier. It's what she needed at this point. At least that's what she tries to tell herself as she turns off her office light and makes her way home.

She opens her front door, greeted by her son, something that never gets old. Day after day.

"Mommy!" He screams in delight as he waddles his way towards her. She drops to her knees and picks up the toddler, who grins at her so largely. "Mommy home!"

"Hey sweetie." She cuddles him in her arms, leaving kisses all over his chubby little cheeks.

"Is Daddy home?" She asks as she makes her way to the kitchen.

"Daddy work, Mommy."

She nods at the toddler before she spots the babysitter, a graduate student who probably knows her son better than she does - or did, before, she thinks to herself, sitting on the couch, laptop open as she works on a paper. The liaison smiles at her.

"Thank you, Brandi. Do you want to stay for dinner? Reid and Penelope are supposed to come over tonight."

The brunette's eyes widen and JJ tries to hide her amused look with a kiss to the boy's forehead. It's obvious that her babysitter has a slight crush on the genius, although she's never said anything and makes it a point not to ask about him, even though she talks about all the others.

"Sure, ma'am, do you think… do you think Dr. Reid would be willing to look at my paper?"

"I'm sure he'd love too." She says, sitting the boy down in his high chair and giving him a banana to eat while she starts dinner. She looks back up at Brandi as she washes her hands. The younger woman looks so hopeful. "Chemical Engineering, right?"

"Yeah." Brandi nods, pushing her hair behind her ears before helping the woman with the pasta. She almost reminds of Reid a little, maybe that's why she hired her. Or it could be the high IQ, great references, and CPR certification. The two work in unison until the doorbell rings and JJ moves to answer the doorbell as Brandi deals with a fussy Henry, taking him to the living room with his toys. She opens the door and smiles seeing the tall, messy genius.

"Hey Spence."

He smiles and leans into her, wrapping an arm around her in a slight hug before he pulls away and goes straight to Henry and Brandi. She covers a snort as Brandi stares up at him in slight amazement as Spencer takes his godson from her, oblivious of the girl's admiration.

She makes her way back to the kitchen, hearing him talk to the baby as if he's an adult, never one for baby talk 'as it teaches the child the wrong pronunciation and way of speech.' She watches as he sits on the couch with the little boy, enjoying his time with him until Penelope gets here and showers him with kisses and bright gifts. The two godparents were so different, but she knew she had made the right choice. Henry would be stimulated in intelligence and creatively alike. She watched them for a few more seconds before turning attention back to the food, losing Brandi to Reid. She shook her head again in amusement when she hears the woman stutter, asking about her paper.

She hears the door open again and smiles when she sees Will entering. He nods at Spencer and Brandi, who have made themselves comfortable discussing the paper, while Henry lays asleep on Spencer's shoulder - JJ wants to be mad at Spence for letting the baby fall asleep so early, but can't bear it, seeing the man's hand sweep over her son's back so comforting. Will makes his way to the kitchen, kisses her cheek and looks at the food.

"You're just home in time for spaghetti."

"Yum." He says, his accent still thick, and she leans into him slightly. The change in jobs had been good for their relationship too. She has to admit that. Times had gotten a little rocky, fighting about time and what was more important. She doesn't tell him that she was forced to take the job, lets him think that she chose to left without any push. It makes him happier that way. It's one less fight.

"Is Penelope coming too?"

"She should be here any minute." She says, looking over her shoulder as he makes his way to the fridge.

"Probably buying Henry another toy." He mumbles and JJ rolls her eyes playfully.

"You know she likes to spoil him."

"We're going to have to buy a bigger house just for his toys soon, Jayje."

She gives him a look. "Don't be so overdramatic, Will." She teases before kissing him softly. "Go, sit. Dinner will be ready soon."

He watches Brandi and Reid for a moment before making a face. She knows that he doesn't understand Reid and that he gets annoyed by all the rambling the younger man does. He looks back at her and she gives him a look, telling him to behave. Will takes a swig of his beer before making his way over to the duo. Spencer looks up before handing over the baby to Will before turning his completely attention to Brandi, his conversation becoming more intense, now with hand motions. She watches Will stare at the two for a brief second before turning his eyes to the TV. She looks at the microwave behind her, wondering where Penelope is, when the doorbell rings again. She stares a look with Will, who gets up and answers.

"Oh, Look at him! He's got so big!" She hears and smiles. It's been three days since Penelope seen the little boy.

She tries to contain her laugh she the techie speaks again. "I got him something."

**Criminal Minds || Life**

She stands at the door as she watches Reid stand over the little boy's crib. She tends to scold Will to touching the baby once he's asleep, but can't manage to do the same with Reid as his fingers run through the little boy's long blonde locks. She makes her way over to him, touching his back so she doesn't startle him when she speaks. Still, he tenses, pulls his hand away.

"I'm sorry, I-"

She shakes off the apologies and looks at the little boy. He's beautiful and so small and…hers. She still can't get over it sometimes. After cases, she would sit and stare at him, watching him breathe and sigh and move in just amazement.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" She says, softly and brushes the hair out of the baby's face.

"He needs a hair cut."

She gives him a glare. "Will says the same thing. I just can't bring myself to cut it. And who are you to talk, mister."

He smiles, slightly embarrassed, before his hand moves over the top of his head, through his much shorter locks. She knows he wants to say something about the fact he did actually cut it, but he doesn't. He drops his hands to his side after a moment and looks at the little boy, both of them in silence, before it gets too much for him.

"How are you and Will?" He asks, quietly and she shrugs. He's a profiler. He knows. He can tell by body language and word choice. She wants to tell him that he's not supposed to profile team mates, but…she's no longer a team mate.

"We're better." She nods, looking at him. "We're doing better."

His eyes scan her face before he nods too, turning back to the baby. "That's good."

"We are, Spence. I know you don't believe me, but I've been spending more time at home now and we're not fighting as much."

"He was annoyed tonight." He says, matter-of-factly, as he reaches out to run his fingers over Henry's hand. The little boy's fingers curl around the man's finger and he smiles. "He doesn't like me."

JJ looked at him. "He likes you, Spence."

He turns to give her an unimpressed look. "He's never liked me. I know that you two fought about me being Henry's godfather."

JJ opens her mouth to deny it before frowning. They had fought about it, but there was no one else that she had even considered. Spencer was her best friend and she knew that if her son was going to be with anyone other than her and Will, it was going to be with the smartest, most passionate two people she knew.

"He might have argued with the fact, but I think he's realized now that you are the best choice. Who else can say there 18 month old is taught by a certified genius?"

Spencer's lips curl into his embarrassed smile, bringing his chin closer to his chest, hair falling slightly into his eyes. She smiles and ruffles his hair.

"You're a great godfather, Spence. I've never doubted my choice."

"You promise? Morgan would be able to teach him more about girls and sports and all that stuff."

She leans in and kisses his temple. "I promise."

His smile grows a little more confident, even though the blush deepens on his cheeks. He pulls back, resting his forearms on the crib railing. "He is beautiful, JJ. Haircut or not. He's starting to look more like you every day."

"Are you flirting with my girl, Dr. Reid?" Will asks, from the doorway and Spencer stands up straight.

"What? No. Not at all."

Will steps further in the room, wrapping his arm around JJ. JJ looks to the taller man before to her boyfriend. She shakes her head.

"He's teasing you, Spence."

Will doesn't say anything and Spencer nods.

"Right. Well.. I should be heading home. Work, tomorrow, and all."

Will nods and JJ pulls away from his arms to hug the genius in front of him.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Spencer. It was great to see you."

"We're still on for Saturday, right? We're going to the aquarium?"

She smiles. "If you guys don't get a case."

He nods. "If we don't get a case."


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer did end up having a case the next day that kept him from the aquarium. Will offered to take the two of them, but it wasn't the same. Half the reason she had agreed to go was because she knew it came with the lecture. She missed hearing the random information he had to offer. If she was being honest, her job at the Pentagon was dull. There was no family element and she spent most of her day, talking to men in army dress uniforms, all very polite but distant. She missed Derek and Penelope's flirting, Spencer's physics magic, and Emily recounting her bad dates. She missed having people to go out with after a bad day at work and someone who understood what it was like to do the job. She missed everything about the BAU, but she couldn't tell Will that. She couldn't talk to Will about the BAU at all. He had never been part of it, he didn't understand. He took it personally, when it wasn't. She enjoyed doing things with Will too. She enjoyed their family dinners and the little trips they took with Henry to the park. She would enjoy going to the aquarium with him too, but the trip was… she needed to go with Reid. She was used to spending so much time with her team and now, she rarely saw them. They had agreed to stay close, but she knew what it was like for them. She understood the time restraints and the business. She knew that the job was never over and when she got a chance to spend time with them, she was going to take it. Will didn't see it like that at all. Will saw it as just wanting to be close to Spencer Reid. Spencer Reid who thought she was beautiful, he made sure to mention. She had rolled her eyes and told him to get over it, that she and Spencer were nothing more than friends - and it wasn't a lie. It had never not been that way. Even with the football games years ago. They had gone as friends. She had explained the game to him and they had fun. That was it. They had joked about keeping it a secret to annoy Derek, who had bothered Reid for weeks about it. She tried to explain that to Will, but he had rolled his eyes. She didn't let it bother her most of the time. She knew that Will was a jealous man, it came with the passionate side that she loved, but it was getting ridiculous. Spencer was like her brother. She had basically watched him grow up. It was weird to think of him as anything else. She didn't know why Will didn't see that. But he didn't and they had fought. Again. And now, she's spending Sunday morning with Henry, watching cartoons and eating bananas. She looks to the little boy, whose eyes are glued to the tv and has smashed bananas in between his fingers. She ruffles his hair and he looks up and smiles, largely, pieces of banana in his cheek.

"Nana, Mommy!" He says, cheekily, before turning back to the screen.

She loves her son. More than anything in this world. Her little boy, with long blonde wavy hair and chubby little toes, is perfect. It's what get her through these fights with his father. They created the most amazing little boy, they can get through a rough patch and even if they can't, she has no regrets. She wouldn't have Henry if things were different and she would never give him up.

There's a knock and Henry turns to her, quickly, his hair twirling in his face and sticking to his cheeks from the banana-junk. She smiles and scoops him up.

"One second." She calls out before making a detour to the kitchen to get something to wipe the boy's face.

"How in the world do you make such a mess with a banana, huh, little man?" She wipes his hands and face with a washcloth before he shrugs.

"Nana, Mommy. Daddy home?"

She smiles. "Let's see."

She opens the door and smiles when she sees Spencer. "Hey, thought you were on a case?"

He opens his mouth to explain, but Henry beats him to it.

"'Penner! I got Nanas!" He says and reaches out for the man.

She watches as Spencer's eyes widen, faking excitement, and he grabs the boy, positioning him on his hip. "You got a banana. Where's my banana?"

She smiles as Henry looks at her, shocked at the fact they forgot to get a banana for Spencer. "Mommy! 'Penner Nana!"

"Spencer can get his own banana. You can show him where they are, right?"

Henry looks back at Spencer before wiggling to get down. Spencer gets the idea and sets the little boy on the ground as JJ closes the door. They watch as he makes his way to the kitchen.

"Come on, 'Penner!"

"I'll be right there, buddy. You find me a good one, okay?"

"O' tay."

Spencer turns back to JJ, who is watching the little boy, still. "The case ended, so… I thought I could take you two to the aquarium today."

She looks at him to acknowledge she's listening before turning her eyes back to the boy, whose reaching for the bananas. She knows better than to take her eyes off him for long, definitely now that he's able to walk.

"Have you even been home yet, Spencer?"

She sees him rub the back of his neck out of the corner of her eye. "No, but... I promised Henry we'd go see the fish."

Henry pauses at the word, turning back to the two. "We see NEMO?"

Spencer looks at JJ before looking back at the little boy, kneeling to his level. "Yeah, Henry. We're going to go to the aquarium and see the fish and the whales and-"

"Nemo!"

Spencer looks back at JJ, confused. "What's Ne-mo?"

The question upsets Henry. "You no know Nemo? Nemo wittle fish! He lost, 'Penner! and his daddy find him wif Dory!"

"Oh." Spencer says, still lost and JJ has to laugh.

"He's a clownfish." She explains. "From a children's movie."

"Ohh." He nods, "Yeah, buddy. Nemo will be there. You know, The clownfish is actually very interesting. They actually have a symbiotic relationship with certain anemones-"

"Their home!"

Spencer's eyes flash and he nods, excited. "Right, Henry! That's where they live! They're the only fish that are able to live there and not get stung by the tentacles. The clown fish has a mucus surrounding it that protects it. The anemones acts as a home for the fish while the fish keeps it free of algae and keeps the-"

JJ sees the little boys start to glaze over and pats Spencer's shoulder. "That's enough for right now. Maybe you can tell us about Dory too later. If a little boy is going to see the fishies, he needs to get dressed."

Spencer nods, standing back up with a slight wince, which JJ notices, but doesn't mention. She knows that he doesn't like to make a big deal about it. He had done his best to keep from talking about it, making sure all the attention stayed on Hotch, which according to Spencer, was much more necessary. He was like that. It was one of the qualities she loved about Reid: his compassion for others over himself. After his ordeal in Georgia, he had asked if she was okay, as he sat in the hospital. And then his drug addiction, he never asked anyone's help after deciding to kick the habit. He had just set out to do it and then did it. She still regretted that, letting it get that far. She still blames herself for not seeing the signs quicker, not saying something, but she doesn't say anything about it. He wouldn't talk to her about it anyways. She shakes away the thoughts and helps the little boy in front of her change out of his pajamas and into something appropriate for the aquarium: his Finding Nemo shirt and blue shorts with orange fishes on it - one of many of Penelope's gifts. She brushes his hair - or at least tries to as he fights to get back down to go and talk to Spencer. Eventually, she gives in and sets him on the ground.

"'Penner, I ready! We see Nemo now!"

Spencer takes in the boy's appearance and smiles. "That's a nice shirt. Is that Nemo?"

"Nemo and Dory, Silly! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!"

Spencer laughs as the little boy sings the words before looking up at JJ. "Is Will working today?"

"He's off playing golf."

She sees his eyebrows furrow and he gives her a pursed smile before looking back at Henry who has started to ramble about Nemo again. She resists the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that he knows about the fight without her having to say anything. Sometimes she really hates profilers.

"Let me leave him a note and then we'll get going, alright?"

She knows Spencer's eyes are back on her as she makes her way to the kitchen, curious on why she'd leave a note rather than call. She doesn't want to deal with Will accusing her again though. A note is easier, explains where they are without having to deal with attitude. She finishes it and puts it on the fridge before returning back to the living room to see her son with his hands on Spencer's cheeks, trying to help the older man make 'the fishie face!' She smiles as Henry's laugh floats through the room.

"Mommy, 'Penner a fish! 'Pennerfish!"


	3. Chapter 3

She enjoyed watching Spencer interact with Henry. It was a side she hadn't experienced from him. He had always stated that kids didn't like him. Maybe Henry was immune to the Reid effect or maybe Reid had been making it up. Either way, as she watched Henry stare up at Spencer with a look of awe, she knew that the little boy loved his "'Penner". She smiled when the little boy grabbed the larger man's hand as they walked back from the bathroom together.

"Mommy, mommy! I big boy!"

"Oh yeah? You are a big boy! Look at you, going to the potty with Spencer!"

"Yeah! I no go to the girl room now."

She smiled. "Oh yeah? You're too big to go the potty with mommy?"

He nods, looking very proud and much like his father. "I a big boy."

JJ ruffled his hair before looking up at Spencer. "Thank you for taking him."

Spencer shrugged it off, but she knew better. She had seen the slight look of panic that entered his eyes when Henry begged to go with him to the restroom. She had almost told Henry no when Spencer had agreed, asking about what he had to do. She explained that Henry was starting to potty-train, but if he didn't use the restroom, it wasn't a big deal. The little boy was still in pull-ups. Everything had seemingly gone fine, regardless.

"We look at the fishies again? We gotta see Dory, Mommy. Mommy love Dory, 'Penner!"

"Oh yeah? Then we got to find that fish."

"She blue!"

"She's blue? Like Mommy's shirt?" JJ looks down at her own shirt, knowing she hadn't worn blue.

Henry looked at his mom with a slight frown and shook his head. "Mommy shirt red. Blue like my shirt, 'Penner!"

JJ watches as Spencer's grin widens, proud of the little boy's knowledge. "Very good, Henry. You're so smart."

Henry grins just as large as Spencer's, his attention back on his mother. "Mommy, I smart!"

She scoops him up in her arms and kisses his cheeks. "You're the smartest little boy I know!"

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely!" She nods, enthusiastically before they start walking down another hall of the aquarium. She turns to look at Reid over her shoulder. He's following, slightly behind, his eyes on the two. He smiles when their eyes met for a second.

"You got the best teacher in the world, huh?"

"'Penner teach! Penner, teach me fish! And… blue! And nose!" Henry's fingers rub against her nose and she turns her attention back to the little boy, about to ask him about the other things he knows, when his eyes widen, attention pulled back to the fish.

"Whoa, Mommy! Look! That big!"

He wiggles to get down and when he succeeds at the task, runs to the glass, pressing his face against it. She starts to tell him to step back but Spencer's already walking towards him, talking about facts about the yellow fish. She could almost picture the man on the plane, reading about the different types of fish just so he could have the conversation with her son. She stays back, letting the boys talk, but keeps her eyes on them. Spencer is okay with being around Henry when he's behaving, but somehow loses his common sense when the little boy disobeys. He either freezes or gives in to Henry's tantrum. She's tried to explain that neither helps and he knows, he can quote every psychologist's theories on personality and child-bearing. And yet, when it comes to his godson and in the actual moment, it's as if he knows nothing. It's almost amusing to see the genius at such a loss. Right now, he's in his element, spouting out facts about the labeobarbus something. When Henry points to another, Spencer looks at it for a moment and starts again, Henry staring in fascination at both the fish and the man. His attention span is still short though and after pointing to a few fish, he turns back to her and smiles, running back to her.

"Mommy, Mommy! Did you see?"

"I sure did!"

"'Penner know everything, Mommy!"

"I know, buddy. Spencer's a genius."

Henry makes a face at the word. "I jean-us!"

She laughs, running her fingers through his hair. "You are, my little genius."

"Technically one's IQ isn't-" Spencer starts but immediately stops as soon as she raises her eyes up to him. He looks down at his shoes following.

"I hungry, Mommy." Henry says a few seconds later, his fingers back in his mouth.

She looked at Spencer. "PB and J break?"

He looks confused before realizing she's talking about food. "We could go get something. We've been here for a few hours."

"We get nuggets, Mommy!"

"We can get 'nuggets.'" Spencer repeats after the little boy and she glares at him.

"Okay, fine."

"Yey! I get a toy too, Mommy?"

"Yes, it comes with a toy." She says, handing Spencer the diaper bag as she picks up Henry.

He holds it awkwardly before putting it on his shoulder, following the two. Henry looked at him, over his mother's shoulder.

"You get nuggets too, 'Penner?"

"I… yeah, sure."

"and apples?"

"yeah, I like apples."

The little boys smiles, resting his head on her shoulder. "Me too."

He yawns and JJ looks back at Henry.

"He falling asleep?"

Spencer nods and she shakes her head. "He always does, as soon as he stills."

He nods again, looking at his shoes.

Henry falls asleep a few minutes later and rather than going to eat, JJ drives the group back home. The little boy's nap doesn't last long though, waking up as JJ stops the car. He fusses for a few moments, but gets over it quickly, spotting his father.

"Daddy!" Henry screams, trying to get down. "Penner got me a fish! Nemo, daddy! I got Nemo!"

Will scoops him up. "You got a fish?"

"It's a goldfish. It'll be fine." JJ tells him, handing him the bag as Spencer stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"Didn't you think that you should talk to me about that first, I mean, I am the one that will be taking care of it."

JJ looks at him for a moment before turning back to Spencer. "Thank you for today and the fish. I know Henry had a blast."

"Daddy! Look! NEMO!"

"See." She says, slightly amused.

"It shouldn't be too hard to take care of. Just feed it when you get home if Will-"

"It's fine, Spence. He's just being grumpy." She hugged him before turning back to Will and Henry.

"Henry, come say goodnight."

Henry ran back over to them and hugged the man's legs. "Good night, 'Penner. Thank you. Love you."

Spencer ruffled his hair before clearing his throat. "I, ah, I love you too, Henry."

Henry looked up at him with a grin. "I see you morro?"

"I…" He looked up at Will and JJ before looking back at the little boy. "We'll see. I got to work."

Henry nods, even at his age, he understands what that means. "Okay, 'Penner. Bye."

"Good night, Henry. JJ. Will."

She smiles at him before walking him out. "I think that's the first time he's told you he loves you, right?"

"He was overly excited. He tells Penelope it all the time."

"Yeah, but she tells him too. You never tell him….why do you never tell him?"

He shrugs. "I'm not…"

"I know you're not, but he's your godson. If something happens, he'll be yours."

"And he'll be taken care of."

"But will he be loved?"

Spencer frowns. "I…Are you-" He pauses, looking offended.

She frowns too. "I didn't mean that, Spence, I know-"

"I would do anything for that little boy, Jennifer. Anything."

The only one that called her Jennifer was Will. She knew he was serious. She smiled and hugged him again.

"I know, Spence. I'm sorry."

He stays tense and she pulls back, her hands still around his neck. "I'm sorry, Spence."

"Just because I don't share my feelings all the time, it doesn't mean that I don't feel it. Sometimes its not appropriate or… it's…." He shakes his head, stepping back from her touch.

She watches him before nodding. "Okay, Spence."

He nods, turns away. "Okay. Goodnight."

She watches as he starts to walk before she makes her way back inside.


	4. Chapter 4

She walks in back to see Will putting the fish into the bowl that Spencer had bought along with food flakes. Henry was at his side looking at it in wonder.

"Wow, Daddy! Look. He swimming!"

"I see, buddy. He seems to like his new home, doesn't he?"

"Yeah. He like it." Henry rested his head on his hands, watching the fish move back and forth. "He happy."

"Let's go put him in your room and you can watch him swim, alright?"

Henry's eyes widen as he raises his head. "He can sleep in my room?"

Will laughs before looking back at JJ. He picks up the bowl and takes it to the little boy's room before returning.

"Your comment wasn't very nice." JJ says as he sits on the edge of the couch.

"It wasn't very nice of you not to call me. A note, JJ, really?"

"I didn't want to fight, Will. You've been gone and-"

"and you decided to spend another day with Spencer Reid."

She clenches her jaw, looking at him. "This is why I didn't call." She moves to go to the room to shower when he grabs her wrist and pulls her closer. She stares at him, slightly annoyed, before pulling her hand away from him. She folds her arms over her torso, keeping her eyes on him.

"I don't know why you're so mad at about this. It's just a fish. Spencer said it would be-"

"Spencer doesn't know everything, JJ. As much as you guys pretend to think he does."

She rolls her eyes, but decides not to say anything about his comment. She isn't going to try and fight with him over her team mates and decides to stay on subject.

"It's not like it's a cat, Will. It's a fish. He'll feed it and help keep it clean. It will be good. I'll deal with it."

"You should have asked me if-"

"It's a fish, Will! I didn't think you would care."

"Right. You never think about what I would want. I wanted to take you two to the aquarium yesterday but Spencer comes over and offers and you're more than ready to go."

She sighs. "Will, I already explained that-"

"That you miss them, yeah, well… when you worked there, you were always willing to spend even more time with them. Now you have time to spend with me and….what? They come first once again."

"They're my fam-"

"I'm your family, Jennifer. I am your family. He's our son, JJ. We should make these decisions together."

She opens her mouth to speak, but doesn't know what to say. He has a point this time. She pursed her lips, thinking for a minute before sighing.

"I'm sorry." She says, stepping closer, running her fingers through his hair before kissing him.

"You're right. I should have called, first, but he was so excited and you know I can't resist his Daddy's grin."

He smirks slightly, moving his hands to her hips. "Well, I guess it's a good learning experience."

"Mmhmm. It will teach him responsibility and….other things."

Will smiles. "Other things, huh?" His hands move up her back.

JJ rolls her eyes, "Spencer had a list of things, I can't remember."

Will leans up to kiss her. "I'm sorry too, about my comment. I was just…."

"Jealous." She says, giving him a pointed look.

This time he rolls his eyes. "_hurt_ that you didn't even call to tell me you were going out."

"I knew you were still bitter about the aquarium thing, I didn't want to fight. I don't like fighting with you."

He pulls her even closer. "I don't like fighting with you either, darling."

She wants to still be angry at him for staying away for most of the weekend, but she can't resist the look and accent. She sighs and runs her fingers through the back of his hair. "That's not fair."

He raises an eyebrow.

"It's impossible to stay mad at you."

He smiles and kisses her which she responds to before Henry comes running out of his room.

"I get nuggets now, Mommy?"

Will looks at her, slightly amused, before looking back at the little boy. "You want some nuggets?"

Henry nods, furiously. "And apple! And chocowate milk!"

"What do you say?"

Henry thinks about it for a few seconds. "Pwease, Daddy, Pweeeeease!"

Will nods. "Alright. Let's go get some nuggets."

JJ shakes her head. "You're such a push-over."

Will laughs, "Oh, behave. You'll get your chocolate shake too."

JJ's eyebrows raised, her lips curling into a smile. "You got yourself a deal."

Henry giggles as Will kisses her. "Mommy like chocowate too, huh, Daddy?"

"She sure does." Will stands up and kisses her cheek before grabbing the boy, holding him against his hip.

"And how about we go to the pet store and get Nemo some toys too?" Will asks as he grabs his keys.

Henry's eyes widen. "Really?"

"Really. "

"Mommy, we get Nemo toys!"

"Yeah."

Will turns to look at her and she shakes her head. Moments ago, he was complaining about the fish and now he was buying the things for it's bowl. She doesn't know whether to be amused of annoyed. Henry's talking about the things he wants to buy the fish (a ball and a truck and other things) and Will, eyes locked at her, tries to tell him about what he can actually get for the fish. She watches as he puts him in the car, wondering about their relationship. She had never thought it would get this far, if she was being honest. They had been having fun and then his partner had died, everything had changed. He had been willing to give up everything for her; he was in love with her. It had been nice. It had felt warm and safe and for the first time, she really did want to be with someone and have something real. That's why she had kissed him, that's why he had moved. That's why she got pregnant and how here she was, with a two year old and a real relationship. A real hard relationship. She smiles at him as his hand moves to her knee once they're in the car, driving. It wasn't that she didn't still care about him, she did. She liked her life, she loved Will and was absolutely crazy about Henry, who was singing in the backseat to the Barney soundtrack. There was just…something off. It shouldn't be this difficult. They shouldn't be fighting over such silly things. It should be easy. They should laugh more, enjoy spending time with each other. Not spending the weekend apart because of a fight and then only coming back together because she was too tired to fight with him. She looked back at Henry who was now sucking on his fingers, staring out the window, his feet kicking anxiously. She had to continue to try to make it work though, for Henry. It would get better, the new job meant more time together. They could make it work. They just had to keep trying. She places her hand over his, squeezing his hand. He smiles, turning his hand to hold hers before raising it to his lips to kiss her knuckles. She breathed deep, they just had to keep trying.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Life  
**Pairing: **JJ/Will, JJ/Reid in the future.  
**Rating: **K+  
**Summary: **JJ's life after the BAU**  
****Disclaimer: **Don't own; just distort to my own liking.  
**Author's Notes:** I'm sorry this took so long. I wrote half of it and then got distracted with school. Went to go look for it to finish it...and... hadn't saved it or the computer ate it one.  
**Un-Beta'd.**

* * *

When she gets home from work, Will's already home. He's made himself comfortable on the couch, engrossed in a basketball game. She can by the color of the jerseys that it's New Orleans playing, so she doesn't interrupt him much.

"Henry?" She asks.

"Penelope." He says, eyes never leaving the screen. She nods and walks into the baby's room to see the two playing with blocks. She smiles as she watches from the doorway.

"Hey, Henry, can you hand me the green one?" Garcia asks before JJ makes her way to sit next to the woman.

"Mommy!" He squeals and jumps into her lap. She grins and welcomes him with open arms, leaving kisses over his cheeks. "You home!"

Penelope rolls her eyes, playfully. "Gee, I feel real loved." She jokes.

"Do you know which of the blocks are green, baby face?" JJ asks the little boy who crawls out of her hand to grab at the green block. She grins and both women clap for him. Henry grins largely at all the attention, his eyes squinting close as he giggles.

"I smart, mommy."

She scoops him up again in her lap and kisses his cheek. "You are so smart. You're the smartest little boy in the whole world."

"I know, I got good teashers, mommy."

Penelope laughs at that. "You're so right, little man! High five." She holds her hand out and he smacks it as hard as he can, still grinning.

"Mommy, I tell Aunt Penny bout my fishie! Penner got it for me and how daddy get it toys!"

"Oh yeah, he couldn't stop about the fish and Spencer. I thought I was going to have to give him I-c-e c-r-e-a-m to get him to like me again."

Henry frowns. "I love you, Aunt Penny!"

Penelope awws and scoops the little boy away from his mother to smother him in kisses. He squeals with laughter and JJ looks at the two amused.

"It's not a contest, Pen."

"Says you! Spencer and I might agree that he's going to CalTech-" JJ rolls her eyes at that."-But I want him to study technology while Spencer is sure that he'll go into Physics. We can't have Henry be a mathematician now, right, buddy? You like your computer way more than Spencer's silly physics magic right?"

His eyes widen. "Penner make it go BOOM!"

Garcia shakes her head, disappointed and JJ laughs.

"I think as his parent I have more say in this matter and Henry can be whatever he wants to be."

"Well, of course, but I'm just saying that he's going to want to be more of a techie than a scientist. Computers are way awesome, my little bundle of cuteness."

Henry grins. "That's me, mommy!"

She laughs. "That sure is, little man."

****

Criminal Minds || Life

Once Henry's asleep, JJ makes her way out to the living room to see Will sitting on the couch, beer in his hand. She makes her way over to him, sitting next to him, in the crook of his arm. He acknowledges her with a brief smile, eye contact before they go back to the TV. The news is on, but she's already heard it all. It's part of the job. She breathes in his cologne and closes her eyes, exhausted from the workday and then chasing around a toddler. She wouldn't change anything about it though. His arm tightens around her.

"You should go to bed." He says, quietly, but she shrugs.

"I'm waiting for you." She says, looking up at him.

He smiles. "My Captain spoke with me today. He said that there's an opening for Sgt. Position and that he's willing to give me a good word."

"Oh? That'd be great, Will."

"I told him I'd have to talk to you about it though. It's… a 3rd shift position."

She frowns. "Third.. You mean overnights?"

"11 to 8."

She frowns even deeper, turning more into him. "We'd never get to see each other."

"We'd get to have dinner together and that way we could cut Brandi's hours down, if you wanted. I could stay up with Henry until his nap and then Brandi would be here when he woke up."

"You wouldn't be able to sleep with Henry running around all day."

"It's a pay raise, Jayje."

"We're doing fine, Will. You don't have to take it….unless…. You want to take it?" She pulls back, looking at him. She had just changed jobs so she could be home more and now he was changing his so he could be away? It didn't make sense.

"It's more money, Jennifer, It'll be good for Henry's college fund and we could start saving up for a wedding."

She frowns again. She doubts his reasoning. He already knows that she doesn't want to get married. Not when all the marriages around her have failed. She stares at him for a second, before breathing out through her nose.

"I'm tired. We'll… we'll talk more about this later, okay? Tomorrow at dinner."

He doesn't argue, just nods before leaning to kiss her temple. "Okay. I didn't mean to spring this on you."

She shakes her head, gives her best fake smile. "No, no. It's… I just have to think about it."

"Of course."

She nods and stands up.

"I'll be in there, soon." He calls after her, but she doesn't respond back as she makes her way to the bedroom. She showers and dresses for the night quickly, before she gets into bed, her mind full of thoughts. She stares up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. She knows she can't tell him not to take the job. Ever since he moved to DC from New Orleans, he's been working as a patrol cop. It was a pay cut and less respectful than his detective job, but he did it for her. Now, he had a chance to gain rank, even above what he had been in New Orleans. She couldn't take that away from him, but the hours would mean that they would basically have no time together and she assumed he wouldn't get much sleep with a toddler in the house. They would probably end up fighting even more. She sighed to herself, unsure of what to do. She decides to head the BAU tomorrow, maybe Garcia will be more of a help. If anything, the woman would listen to all the things JJ couldn't say to Will.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Life  
**Pairing: **JJ/Will. Future JJ/Reid?  
**Rating: **Depends.**  
Disclaimer: **Don't own; just distort to my own liking.  
**Author's Notes:** I figured I should start the JJ/Reid aspect. Will anything come of this chapter? Maybe not anything for a while, but the seed has been planted!  
**Un-Beta'd.**

* * *

The drive alone takes up most of her lunch break, but JJ's smart enough to bring along some work, things to discuss with the higher ups of the FBI - people she used to be afraid of but now almost on the same level (if not higher) in the proverbial food chain. She holds her breath as she makes up to the six floor of the FBI academy building and when the elevator dings and the doors open, she stalls for a second. It doesn't feel like home anymore and the thought terrifies her. She gets out of the elevator, making her way through to the bullpen.

"JJ!" It's Morgan who spots her first and makes the way over to her, wrapping his big arms around her and lifting her off the floor. He makes a big deal every time he sees her nowadays and it makes her wonder if he does the same with his family he doesn't see enough. She wraps her arms around him, with a grin. She doesn't mind his excitement. It makes her feel wanted, which is something she forgets, even at home.

"Rossi and Reid are at a lecture at Georgetown, but they should be here any-"

"Jennifer Jareau! Please tell me you brought me more pictures of the cutest little boy in the world! Put her down, you big lug!"

She grins at Garcia, turning to her once Morgan follows her directions. They hug before she pulls out her phone. "He wanted to read like Spencer last night, so he found the biggest book in the house and started flipping through the pages, saying "I reading, mommy, I reading!"

"Awwww. Look how cute!" Penelope takes the phone from the woman to show Morgan, before smacking his chest. "When are you going to give me babies!"

Morgan raises his hands in surrender. "That's something you need to talk to Kevin about, Baby girl."

"Oh, hush. We need some mini chocolate kisses running around here with Daddy Thunder."

JJ giggles as Morgan opens and closes his mouth before he grins. "I need myself a pretty lady for that, you know?"

"Oh, I'm more than willing to share my services." Garcia teases and JJ rolls her eyes, moving towards her office.

"We need to talk." She says and Garcia winks at Morgan before following the blonde into her lair.

JJ sits before looking at the woman. "Will wants to take a job where he works nights. 11 to 8."

Garcia frowns. "Why would he want to do that? You just got a nine to fiver. I thought you and loverboy were finally doing okay."

"We are! We were." She rubs her forehead. "I don't know, Penn, It's always been a struggle and honestly, if we didn't have Henry I don't think we'd still be together. I know we wouldn't, but… I feel like we got to make it work for him and it's not like we're…bad for each other."

"You're just not right, sweetie. Relationships should not be that hard. Maybe it's just 'cos I got to cutest techie in the world (other than me, of course), but there's not a day that I don't want to rush home to my boo."

"To your boo, huh?" JJ finds herself grinning and Garcia winks.

"Whatever you decide, you know that I'm going to be right there with you. You and my cute little curly fry is welcome at Casa Garcia at any hour, any day."

There's a knock that causes Garcia and JJ to turn to see Spencer peeking inside.

"Morgan said that JJ…Hey." He smiles when he sees the blonde.

"Spence." She stands and hugs him. She notices he tenses a little at the touch and she pulls back with a frown.

"You okay?"

He nods, taking a step back. "Yeah, what are you doing here?"

Garcia cocks an eyebrow. "She can't come see her family, sweet genius?"

He flushes. "I-I didn't mean that she couldn't. It's just…It takes approximently 45 minutes to get from Arlington to Quantico, so it doesn't…make much.. Sense for her to be here just to visit us. Not that I don't want her here."

JJ watches him with amusement. She kisses his cheek.

"I'm here for business too, which I should go get to."

He's looking at his shoes when she passes him.

"What was that about?" She hears Garcia say and she pauses, curiously. She doesn't hear Spencer's muttered answer.

Garcia half giggles, half squeals. "Your crush for her is back!"

"It is not! That's…That's…" He squeaks.

"Oh my god, it is! You like her!"

"I do not! Even if I did -which I don't!- It doesn't matter. She's basically married with child."

"You silly boy, you! Didn't anyone ever teach you to fight for the things you want!"

"She's not a book that someone got before me, Garcia! I'm not going to try and destroy her family. Henry deserves to have his mother and his father happy together…I don't want him to have to live with the fact that his parents….that I got in the middle of that."

"Ms. Jareau!" She winces when Strauss passes her.

"Chief Strauss. I was just coming to see you. Shall we go to your office?" She rushes the woman away from Garcia's door, hoping that the two agents inside hadn't hear her.

****

Criminal Minds || Life

She pauses by Reid's desk on her way out of the office. He flushes immediately and JJ knows that he and Garcia must have heard Strauss. She feels herself redden a little at the realization.

"Hey." She says, softly before looking towards Garcia's office to see the woman peaking out from her door. She rolls her eyes as Garcia gives her a thumbs up.

"Hey. I… uh, you.. You're finished with…" He frowns at his stumbling and looks back at his files.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to stop by tonight. Henry would love to see you. Will set up the fish tank and I know Henry would love to show you Nemo's new house. He has toys."

Spencer looks up, a slight look of relief in his eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'd love to see Henry. I can stop by after work, if a case doesn't come up last minute."

JJ nods. "I'm probably going to stay an hour or two late to make up for my visit. Come by around 8?"

He nods. "Do you want me to bring dinner?"

She smiles. "Thai?"

"And a chicken McNugget meal for Henry. I owe him one."

She watches him for a moment. He liked her, but he was in love with her son. He would put him in front of his own wants and needs. The realization warmed her heart and she reaches out to ruffle his hair.

"Have I told you that you're amazing?"

He flushes, automatically. "I…uh.. What?"

"With Henry." She adds, her ears feeling hot. "You're amazing with Henry."

"Oh! Oh.. Right. Right. Thank you."

She smiles. God, this felt awkward. "I should get going. 8 o'clock with Thai."

"Should I get Will a burger too? He didn't seem to like…"

Will. Right. She had almost forgotten about him for a moment. Wow, that was bad. She cleared her throat. "Right, yeah. Just one of the burger meals. He's not picky when it comes to cheeseburgers."

He nods. "Okay. See you then."

She smiles before starting to walk out of the BAU. She spots Garcia again with a large grin on her face. JJ expected a phone call the moment she got back in her car, if she even got that far before her phone rang.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: **So I've reread the story and Henry's language skills are way too indepth for an 18 month old, even if he is taught my a genius. So… I'm going to make him a little older rather than changing all of his lines. Let's say he's like 23 months old, which I will change in the previous chapter soon (if I haven't already). And, No one said anything about this, but I just read it. In a previous chapter I said that patrol cop was "less respectful" than being a detective. I did not mean it as they aren't as important, because well, of course all cops are equally as important, either it's the first responders to a crime or the detectives that come afterward. Like I said, no one said anything about it, but I thought it was important to mention the only thing that I meant by it is that detectives are seen as higher in the hierarchy of rank and such. Kay? Kay :)

* * *

"Mommy!" Henry runs towards her and she smiles, scooping him up.

"Hey baby, how's Mommy's little boy doing?"

"Branni left before you get here!"

"I know, buddy, I had to stay a little late, I took a long lunch to go see Aunt Penny and Spencer!"

His eyes widened. "Penner come see me?"

"He sure is." She smiles, "And he said he was going to bring you a happy meal!"

"Yeah?" He wiggles to get down. "Daddy! Penner bring me nuggets!" He screams, running off towards the back room that they used as an office. She watches the little boy, making sure he doesn't hurt himself before she moves to the kitchen, getting a glass of water.

"Spencer's coming over?" Will asks as he walks back with Henry in his arms. "I thought we were going to talk."

She sips her drink. She knew that needed to talk and that inviting Spencer would keep that from happening. It was half the reason she had invited him over. She didn't have that talk. She didn't want him to take the job, regardless of what that mean to his self-esteem or their finances. If he took this job, she knew that they would see each other even less than they had when she worked at the BAU and then they would begin fighting even more than they had been lately. She knew that they wouldn't survive him taking this job.

"We'll talk tonight. He won't stay long." She says and smiles at him. "I promise."

He gives her a look, but thankfully leaves it at that. "He's not bringing Thai food again is he?"

She laughs. "He said he'd get you a burger when he goes to get Henry's nuggets."

"Nuggets!" Henry cheers.

"Is he coming soon? I was just about to make dinner."

"Daddy make Dumbo, Mommy."

"Dumbo?" She repeats, looking at him. She know he means gumbo, but she's curious.

"Yeah, like the elfant." he says. "on the tv!" He clarifies.

She giggles. "Oh, Henry, I love you so much."

He grins. "Love you, Mommy. We call Penner, tell him I hun-ree!"

She nods, scooping him away from Will, kissing the man before moving to the couch. "Let's go call him then."

****

Criminal Minds || Life

There's a knock and JJ watches Henry who is watching Nemo. His eyes shift from the tv to the door before back to the movie. She can tell he's trying to decide which is more important. Will stands and makes his way to the door before Henry's eyes shift back to the door as it opens. His eyes widen when he sees Spencer and he gets up and runs towards the two men.

"PENNER! Watch Nemo!" He grabs at his pants and tugs him towards the tv.

JJ watches how Spencer straightens, fingers clutching at the bags in his hands. "I…." He looks towards the tv before at the food in his hands.

"I'll take it." Will says, noticing his dilemma. Spencer smiles appreciatively.

"I got you the Number 3, If that's okay?" He says, handing the bags to Will, who smiles.

"Perfect." He says and JJ smiles. It's exactly what Will always gets. She doesn't know why she's surprised, Spencer's always been good at remembering details. Will seems grateful though and she's glad for that.

"Come on! NEMO!" Henry tugs at Spencer's leg again and Spencer follows, sitting on the ground with Henry.

"Is that Nemo?" Spencer asks as Dory and Marlin come on the screen.

"Noooo! That's Nemo's daddy! He savin' Nemo!" Henry says before starting to tell him more but Spencer doesn't exactly understand what he's saying. He looks towards to JJ.

"He's trying to save Nemo. He got kidnapped by fishermen and put into a bowl. Marlin and Dory are traveling to the city to get him back." JJ explains and Spencer nods before turning back to the tv.

"He loves Nemo, Penner. He save him." Henry says before resting his head on Spencer's arm.

JJ watches as the two watch before looking back at Will, who is looking through the Thai food. She chuckles as he makes a face. He raises his eyes at her laugh and grins at her. JJ moves towards him and he wraps an arm around her.

"I don't know how you like that stuff." He says and she rolls her eyes.

"You don't like anything that isn't Southern comfort food." She teases as he shrugs.

"What can I say, I like what I like." He kisses her temple. "I don't think we're going to be able to get Henry away from the TV." He says and she looks back towards the two boys watching the movie.

"Not with Spencer, a Nemo virgin, here. Thank you for being okay with this. I promise we'll talk after he leaves."

Will nods and kisses her before they turn to see Henry sit up when the turtle comes on the screen. Henry squeals and starts talking fast to Spencer, who looks a little lost. She chuckles before looking back at him.

"I'll get him a plate so if he spills the ketchup, it won't get everywhere. One night won't hurt."

She had made a rule that they ate together at the table at all times. It didn't matter much now, but she knew when Henry was older, it would and she was starting the rule early. Will hated it, she knew, he wanted to eat dinner and watch the games, but he followed the rule too. She gets Henry's food ready before setting it in front of him. She gives Spencer a look.

"Please don't let him spill that on my carpet, or I might just make you pay for the clean up."

Spencer looks at her, trying to figure out if she's serious she assumes. She grins. "I'm kidding."

He nods.

"Penner LOOK!"

"I'll get you a plate too." She says, ruffling Spencer's hair as Henry talks his ear off, only stopping to shove fries in his little mouth. She smiles when he doesn't speak with his mouth open. She's taught him well.

****

Criminal Minds || Life

"We've got to stop meeting like this." She teases as she checks on Spencer. Henry had asked for Spencer to read him to bed. She checks on the little boy and brushes the hair out of his face, seeing him asleep.

"You did good."

"I think I bored him to sleep." Spencer says and she laughs.

"He loves your stories, Spence. He's always asking when you're coming over."

"Yeah?"

She ruffles his hair. "He loves you."

Spencer turns back towards the little boy at her words. They're both quiet for a few moments before Spencer clears his throat.

"Garcia told me that Will's thinking about taking the overnight shift?"

JJ fights the urge to roll her eyes. Garcia would tell Spencer that. "We're talking about it."

He looks back towards her. "You don't want him to."

It's not a question. Spencer knows her better than that, she guesses. "We're just getting back on track and even now, things are…." She trails off with a shrug. "I just don't think it's the right time, you know?"

He gives a short nod. "It's a better job, though? Safer?"

She makes a face. He's right. Will is on the streets now. If he took the job, he'd be inside the station. It'd be much safer.

"Yeah." She sighs and rubs her eyes before resting her hands against the crib again. "I don't know, Spence."

He moves his hand to rest over hers against the railing of Henry's crib and she looks at him, but he doesn't meet her look at first. When he does, he gives her a tense smile.

"Can I give my opinion?"

"Always." She moves her fingers in between his before curling around his, fingers linking on the railing.

"Averagely, 150 officers are killed in the line of duty a year and much more are injured. Henry needs his dad and a couple hours a day is better than none, you know? And if anyone can make it work, it's you. I mean, you're…" He pauses before clearing his throat and pulling his hand away. He looks towards the little boy. JJ looks behind her shoulder to see Will standing at the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Spencer leaves very quickly afterward and JJ knows Will's upset about whatever he might have saw. She sits on the bed as he follows her into the bedroom. Looking up at him, she waits, knowing there is going to be a speech or something.

"What was that?" He asks. "Were you holding his hand?"

Shit, she thinks. She had been, sort of, and why? She didn't know. He had moved his hand and she had just automatically grasped as his fingers.

"He was just telling me what he thought. I went to talk to Garcia today about your job situation and she must have told him."

"Right. And he thinks I should take it." He says, snarky, and she can tell he thinks Spencer has other motives.

"He knows the job you'd be taking would be less dangerous. He's just looking out for Henry, Will." She says, trying not to roll her eyes. There was no way that Spencer would think the way Will was assuming.

"So you're saying it has nothing to do with the fact that I wouldn't be home when he visited. He grabs your hand when I'm barely in the next room. What would he do if I was 30 minutes away?"

Now, she does roll her eyes. "He's not like that, Will. There's nothing between us!" She lies. There is something between them. Spencer had a crush on her, it had been obvious since he had joined the BAU. "He's like... my little brother."

Will snorts. "Whatever you say, Jenn."

He walks towards the bathroom. Was that it? He pauses and turns around.

"So since Spencer agrees with the job now, am I allowed to take it?"

She glares at him. "Spencer doesn't make our decisions."

"Doesn't he?" He says, walking into the restroom.

"What the hell are you talking about, Will?" She gets up and follows him, leaning against the door frame as he starts to get ready for bed.

He barely glances over at her. "Nothing, I'm done having this conversation. I'm taking this job. It's better for us in the long run."

"Not if it makes us not have a long run." She says and he looks at her.

"What are you saying, cherie?"

"I'm saying that when I left the BAU, we promised to make more time for each other and work on us and if you're going to be either working or asleep when I'm home, how are we going to do that?"

"This is different from the hours of the BAU. You were never home, Jayje. You were gone 4, 5 days at a time almost every other week, if not every week. I'm working the same hours I have been working."

"And you're never going to see our son! You're going to get home at what? Nine? Do whatever errands you need to do that day and be in bed before Henry gets up and then you're going to sleep the whole day and get up at -"

"It's the same hours that I spend with him now, Jayje. Whether I'm waking up or getting home I will be able to spend time with him at 5 until he goes to bed. Regardless of the job."

She breathes through her nose. "And what about us? We have our date night, how we do that if you have to be at work by 11."

He laughs and takes a step towards her. "Tell me when the last time we were out past 11. You're always worried about Henry to stay out that late."

She pouts a little, knowing he's right. The latest they've stayed out since she transferred to the Pentagon was only about 11:15. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her forehead.

"I love you, Jennifer, and I want Henry to be able to go college wherever he decides to and this job will help with that. Or vacations. We could take him to Disney World next year or something. I'm not doing this to get away from you guys."

She looks up at him with a frown. "And it's safer."

"150 officers do die a year." Will repeats Spencer's statistic and grins a little.

"You're not going to get upset if I agree with you, because of Spencer, right?"

"I made a pretty good argument myself, I think." He teases and she smiles and kisses him.

"I love you, you know?" She says, resting her head against his chest as his arms tighten around her.

"I do."

"Then stop acting like I'm going to leave you for Spencer." She says, softly against his chest before looking up at him. He makes a face.

"I don't like him. He's too smart."

She laughs and kisses him again. "When Henry's in 10th grade and you can't help him with his homework, you won't be saying that."

Will rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go to bed."

**Criminal Minds || Life**

The next few days go by smoothly until Saturday comes along. JJ has to work, a meeting with the Department of Justice that she's needed at, and the babysitter's running late. She debates waking Will, but knows he's still trying to get used to his new schedule. She looks down at the little boy.

"Wanna see if Spencer can watch for until Brandi comes over?"

"Yeah!" He screams before JJ hushes him, his eyes going wide. "Daddy sweepin!" He says, his voice hushed and JJ smiles.

"Right, buddy. You gotta be quiet until Daddy gets up." She tells him before calling Spencer, hoping he's free. When he answers, she tells him the situation and luckily, he tells her he'll be over soon. She hangs up to see Henry looking at her, hopefully.

"Penner come, mommy?" He asks, voice still soft.

She nods and he cheers before he remembers to be quiet again. She laughs and scoops up the little boy, leaving kisses all over his face. She knows it's hard for him to stay quiet but he's been doing the best he can. He giggles and squirms in her arms.

"Too many, Mommy, Too many!" He giggles, trying to get his face away from hers.

"You can never have too many Mommy kisses!" She tells him before setting him down to go play.

"I'll come get you when Spencer gets here, alright, buddy?"

He nods and runs to his room to play. She watches him, wishing he would just walk, but as of lately, Henry seems to run everywhere. It makes her incredibly nervous, knowing he's not that stable on his feet anyways. He has seemingly picked up Spencer's clumsiness. She starts breakfast as she waits for Spencer to get there. She almost gets it finished when there's a knock.

"I get it!" Henry yells as he runs back towards the door. She scoops him up before he can reach the door.

"Little boys do not answer the door." She tells him and he pouts.

"I big boy, Mommy. And It's Spencer!"

She shakes her head before looking to see that is Spencer and opening the door.

"Penner! I told you, Mommy!" He says, reaching out for the man, who takes the little boy. JJ moves back to plate the breakfast which is starting to burn.

"Hey, Henry." He says as he follows the woman, putting Henry in the high chair.

"Mommy say I no open door." Henry tells Spencer, who sits next to him.

"Mommy's right. There could be a bad man at the door and Mommy knows how to handle the bad men."

"But I big boy, Penner!" Henry says, trying to get him back to his side.

JJ puts the food on the table as Spencer looks up at her, unsure of what to say.

"Mommy just wants to keep you safe, baby." She tells Henry who sighs, but takes the answer. She smiles at him before looking back at Spencer, who gives her a thankful smile. She takes in his appearance finally, noticing he's actually wearing casual clothes, an actual tee-shirt and jeans.

"Did you have plans?" She asks, trying to remember the last time she hadn't seen him in a button-up.

He frowns. "No, why?"

She shakes her head, sitting down on the other side of Henry's highchair, her eyes moving towards him every now and then. He hadn't shaved either in what seemed like a couple of days, she notes, spotting the hair above his lip and on his chin. He looked different. He looked good.

He catches her staring and raises an eyebrow at her, causing her to shake it off, her eyes moving back to Henry, making sure he didn't make a mess with his breakfast.

Her eyes move back to him as he eats. He didn't look like the nerdy little genius she had known for so long. His hair was styled. His clothes were nice and fit him well. He had muscles and facial hair. She smiles when he grins largely at Henry, who while nibbling on a piece of bacon is telling Spencer a big story. The man in front of her is extremely attractive, she realizes. She had always thought Spencer was cute, but now... now he just looked hot. Her eyes widen at the thought.

"Mommy! Did you hear that?"

"What?" She says, blushing. This was bad.

"I tell a joke, Mommy!" He starts it again, before JJ's eyes shift back to Spencer, who's looking at her. He smiles at her, causing her to smile back. This was very bad. Very, very bad.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Some of this chapter is in Henry's POV.

* * *

He watches as Spencer sits across from him. Spencer's a lot of fun, but he doesn't come over as much as Aunt Penny does. Spencer teaches him a lot too.

"We play with blocks?" He asks, knowing Spencer loves to teach him.

Spencer smiles. "Yeah, we can play with your blocks."

He grins and helps Spencer start to make a tower.

"I dinosaur. Rawwwr!" Henry roars before knocking down the tower. Spencer laughs. He doesn't mind that he likes to knock the towers down. He just starts to rebuild the tower. Spencer holds up a block.

"What color is this, Henry?"

He looks at the block. He knows it's not red or blue or yellow. He chews on his fingers as he thinks. His mommy chews on her lip when she thinks, so Henry does it too, but his fingers taste better.

"Your tie!" He says, not knowing the color, but knows that Spencer has a tie that color.

Spencer looks down at his chest and frowns. "My tie?" He repeats.

"Yeah! When you get cold and you wear your tie!" Henry explains and Spencer's eyes widen.

"You mean my scarf? Right. It's purple just like my scarf! Very good Henry!"

Henry grins. Spencer thinks he's smart and Mommy said that Spencer really smart, so Henry knows that he has to be smart for Spencer to think it. "I smart?" He asks and Spencer nods, excitedly.

"You're very smart. Can you say purple?"

"puple." Henry says and grins when Spencer grins. "That puple block, Penner."

"Right! That is a purple block. What other things are purple?"

Henry thinks. "Mommy puple shirt!"

Spencer nods. "JJ does have some purple shirts. What about something in here?"

Henry looks around, chewing on his fingers. "Barney puple!" He says pointing to his dinosaur.

"Barney the dinosaur is purple! Good job, Henry." Spencer reaches for the dinosaur in question and hands it to Henry, who grins.

"Barney dinosaur." Henry repeats and Spencer nods.

"Barney is a dinosaur. He's actually supposed to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex."

Henry looks at him, unsure of what that means. "And BJ and Baby Bop! Dinosaurs too."

Spencer nods. "What color is Baby Bop?"

"Gween and BJ Wellow!"

"Green and Yellow, good job!"

"We watch Barney, Penner?" He asks, holding his dinosaur close. Spencer stands up and scoops up the little boy.

"Sure we can and then maybe Ms. Brandi will be here when you get done with watching that."

"Ms. Brandi take me to park!" Henry tells Spencer, who nods before setting Henry down the couch and starting the movie.

"Penner! You watch too!" Henry says, handing Barney to the man after he sits down. "You sing the songs!"

Spencer looks at the little boy before shrugging.

Criminal Minds || Life

"I wuv you! You wuv me! We a happy famiwee!" Henry sings before there's a knock and the door opens. He rushes to Brandi who relocks the door.

"Ms. Brandi! You miss Barney! We watch it again?"

Spencer stands next to him, Henry looking up at him before back at Brandi, who's blushing.

"Dr. Reid, I didn't know you were going to be here. I thought Penelope would…" She trails off as Henry looks between them. He looks back towards Spencer who shrugs.

"JJ called and I came over. She said you had a meeting with your professor about your paper?"

"I watch Barney again?" Henry repeats himself, looking between the adults.

"Yeah, your advice really helped, but I just wanted to make sure that it was -"

"Ms. Brandi!" Henry cries out, causing both adults to look at him. "I watch Barney again?" He asks, knowing he has the full attention. Brandi picks him up.

"You want to watch Barney again? I thought we were going to go to the park today?"

"Penner come too?" Henry says, looking over the woman's should at the man. Brandi turns to look back at him.

"Would you like to come?" She asks, blushing again.

"I.."

"Pwease, Penner?"

He smiles, unable to resist. "Okay."

"YEY!" His eyes widen. "Daddy sweeping! I forgot!" He covers his mouth. "We be quiet, Penner!"

Spencer nods.

"quiet, Ms. Brandi."

She smiles at him. "Very quiet. Come on, lets go get you ready for the park."

Criminal Minds || Life

"Rooooarr!" Henry screams as he runs after Spencer. Spencer's too fast for him though. "Penner, wait! I got to eat you!"

Spencer slows down a little, enough for Henry to catch up.

"Roaar!" He cries out again before grabbing at Spencer's leg. "I eat you up!"

He giggles when Spencer sits on the ground. "Oh no! You got me!"

Henry jumps in his lap and continues to grab at him. "Roooar!" He screams.

Spencer sets him back on the ground. "Not so loud, buddy." He tells him.

"But I eat you!"

"I know, Henry. You got me, but you can't scream so loud, okay? It hurts my ears."

He frowns. "I sowwie, Penner. You mad at me?" He pouts, feeling bad that he hurt his friend.

Spencer stands up, dusting off his pants. "I'm not mad, buddy. Come on, let's go swing."

Criminal Minds || Life

"He went with you to the park?" JJ asks, once she gets home. Will's still asleep.

"He played with Henry all day. He was adorable. Henry was chasing after him and he'd fall to the ground and let him crawl over him. He'd be such a great dad." Brandi sighs, resting her head on her hand, day dreaming.

JJ laughs. "You've got it bad."

Brandi blushes immediately. "I…I do not."

JJ snorts before her son starts babbbling about something he found. "Ms. Brandi tells me that you and Spencer had a lot of fun today."

Henry eyes go wide. "Penner watch Barney with me! And Sing! And we go to park! And I eat him!"

"You ate him?" JJ asks.

"I a…Tyna-sore-us Rex, Mommy! Penner teash me!"

"A Tyrannosaurus Rex, huh?"

He nods. "Penner say they the best! And they ah…uh…camivore, that means I eat lots of meat!"

"A carnivore does eat a lot of meat."

"Then I have corndog for dinner, Mommy? That meat!"

"That is meat, but you got to eat your vegetables too."

Henry frowns. "Penner say camivores only eat meat, Mommy! I no eat veggies. I Tyna-sore-us Rex!"

JJ looks at Brandi who hides her smile.

"Barney likes his veggies, though, doesn't he?"

Henry thinks about it before shaking his head. "Penner say only meat, Mommy! Barney not like veggies!"

JJ looks at the little boy, cursing Spencer internally. "Spencer must have been wrong, buddy. Barney loves to eat his vegetables. We're going to have carrots tonight."

"No Carrots! CORNDOG!"

She sighs. "You have to eat your vegetables, Henry, or else you won't grow up to be big and strong."

"But Tyna-sore-us are big mommy! They no eat veggies!"

"But you're a boy, buddy! And Little boys need their veggies. Spencer eats his vegetables. He loves carrots. And so does Daddy! You want to be like Spencer and Daddy, right?"

Henry thinks about it. "I no be big if I no eat carrot?"

"Nope. You have to eat your carrots to be big."

"And tall like Penner?"

"Big and tall like Spencer."

He sighs, dramatically. "Okay, Mommy."

She smiles. "But, how about tomorrow, for lunch, we can be like T-Rexes and we'll have hot dogs, alright?"

"With keshup?" He asks, hopefully.

"Lots of ketchup!"

He grins and hugs her leg. "Okay, Mommy. I go play."

JJ watches as he goes runs off to play in the living room before shaking her head. "I'm going to kill Spencer."

Brandi giggles. "I'm sure Mr. Will will get him to eat his vegetables. Plus, you can't blame Spencer for trying to teach Henry the accuracy of the dinosaur's appetite."

JJ gives her a look. "Traitor. And really, Brandi. You've been here for a year and a half. You don't have to call us Mister and Misses anymore. You're family."

"Yes ma'am."

"Brandi!" JJ laughs, knowing the woman will probably continue to call her Ms. JJ. She'd been trying to break the woman of the habit the whole time.

She blushes. "I mean, JJ."

JJ smiles. "You know, I could try to set you and Spence up. You two would be cute together."

Brandi blushes even further. "I.. I couldn't! He's… He would never like someone like me!"

JJ laughs. "What are you talking about? You two would be great together."

"But he's so…smart! And he's so attractive, I mean…He's got such a great face. Those cheekbones and…and his jaw line. and his body, definitely in that shirt he was wearing today... And that smile that he gives Henry, you know the one where he shows his perfect teeth." She sighs before her eyes widen at her words. "I mean… I…" She hides her face.

JJ chuckles before looks down at the chicken she's making, thinking about everything that Brandi had just said. She didn't need to hear about all of Spencer's good qualities. She had been thinking about him all day, trying to figure out when he had gone from the badly dressed geeky little genius to a very handsome, nicely dressed, muscular man who was confident in his intelligence and skills. She jumps when she feels a set of arms around her, lips against her neck.

"Good morning." Will mumbles into her skin and she breathes out, focusing on him. Her boyfriend, the man she had loved for three and a half years and the father of her son. She leans into his touch.

"Hey handsome." She says, turning to her head to kiss him.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asks and JJ raises her eyes to lock eyes with Brandi, who looks shocked. JJ glares and the women closes her mouth, her eyes falling.

"I was just thinking about my day. Big meeting, you know?" She says and kisses him again. "You need to go have a talk with Henry and how vegetables are good for him. Spencer taught him that the type of dinosaur that Barney is only eats meat."

Will groans before moving to the living room.

Brandi watches him before she turns back to JJ. "You too? But-"

"But nothing. It's nothing." She says, trying to convince herself as well. Just because she was thinking Spencer was attractive…sexy, even… did not mean that she wanted to throw away what she had with Will. It didn't mean anything. "It's nothing." She repeats.


	10. Chapter 10

"Aunt Penny!" Henry hugs the woman's legs when JJ opens the door.

"How is my favorite little munchkin?" Garcia asks, picking him up.

"We were just eating breakfast." JJ tells her as they walk back towards the dining area. Garcia sets the boy back down in his seat.

"I eat cheerios!" Henry says, picking one of them out to show her.

"Use your spoon." JJ tells him as he picks at his food again. He pouts, but listens.

Garcia ruffles his hair as she sits next to him. "He's kinda got the Reid, circa gun shot hair going on."

JJ rolls her eyes. "I'm not cutting his hair. Plus, Spencer pulled it off quite well. So can Henry."

Henry's eyes widen at the mention of Spencer. "Penner come over, mommy?"

"No, buddy. Spencer's busy today." She tells him and he frowns.

"Someone loves their god father." Garcia muses.

"He's been over twice this week, Henry's loving it."

"Hmmm." Garcia hums, happily and JJ gives her a look.

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, nothing." She singsongs. "Just that a cute little genius might be crushing on a specific liaison hottie again."

"He does not. Shut up." She laughs.

"Oh please. He only stopped because one, you got all preggo, and two, Bartender-now-Chef Austen."

She makes a face. He and Austen had had a relationship for a while after she had moved to DC after the Viper case. The two had been close until she graduated culinary school and got a job offer in California. They had broken up a month or so ago, Spencer unable to deal with the long distance relationship. She remembers, because he had started to visit Henry much more often after that.

"Has he talked to Austen again?"

Garcia shrugs. "She's called a few times, but I don't think he's answered."

"I didn't like her, anyways."

Garcia raises an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

JJ shrugs, watching Henry as he finished his cereal and tried to drink the milk in the bowl. She takes it from him, giving him his sippy cup instead. "She wasn't right for him. They were just…weird together."

Garcia grins and JJ rolls her eyes. "Oh don't even think what you're thinking, because it's not true."

"How do you know what I'm thinking unless _is _true!" She stares down the woman for a minute before she gasps. "Oh my god, since when?"

JJ glares before picking up her son. "I have to get Henry dressed and then we can get going."

"Oh, no, no, no. You are not just walking out of this conversation like that." Garcia follows.

"I do it, Mommy!" Henry says when she starts to pull his pajamas up. She smiles at him, taking a step back so he can undress himself. She gets his clothes ready to put on as she looks at Garcia.

"I don't like him, so drop it."

Garcia gives her a look. "Oh come on, Jayje. I may not be a profiler, but I can read my best friend. Something happened between you too."

JJ sighs, looking at the little boy as he struggles to get out of his bottoms, but eventually succeeds. "I don't want to talk about this. Will's going to be back from the gym soon and if he hears you, he's going to get mad."

Garcia rolls her eyes. "Because you think someone else is cute? Me and Kevin would have been over years ago if he got angry at every lewd comment I made about Morgan."

"Mommy help!" He cries, trying to get his head through a sleeve. She chuckles and helps the little boy, who gives her a big grin when his head pops through the right hole. "I good now."

She nods, but still offers her hand for support as he puts on his khakis. She looks back up at Garcia. "You know that Will already doesn't like You-Know-Who. I don't want to add fuel to that fire."

Garcia shakes her head. "He needs to get over that. It's ridiculous and you know that if you ever did decide that you weren't going to deal with that…I'd be there for you. I just want you to be happy, Jayje."

After the boy gets on his pants, JJ scoops him up, hugging him close. "I am happy. I have a great family and I'm not going to mess that up because I might have noticed that…You-Know-Who has…"

"grown up into one fine ass genius who I would like to strip, cover in chocolate sauce and then lick clean." She teases.

"Penelope!" She says, covering the little boys ears, who wiggles away from the touch.

"I have chocowate sause, Mommy?" He asks, hopefully.

"Oops." Garcia chuckles before taking the boy. "I bet if you be a good boy today at the zoo, Mommy will let me get you some chocolate ice cream."

JJ groans as Henry cheers.

Criminal Minds || Life

JJ rests on a bench as she watches Penelope and Kevin, who had joined them earlier, play with Henry and the animals. They were petting and feeding a goat and Henry was absolutely enthralled.

"What's up?" Spencer asks, sitting next to her and she jumps.

"What are you doing here?"

He frowns, looking back at Garcia. "…Garcia called me and told me to come, that you guys were going to lunch. She said she was inviting everyone on the team."

JJ glares at Penelope who waves at Spencer before paying attention to the goat. "Oh. She hadn't told me."

He frowns deeper. "Oh. Well, I mean… I can go." He stands up and she shakes her head.

"No. Of course not, Spencer. You're more than willing to come eat with us. Henry would love that."

He sits back down, slowly, looking unsure. "I thought Will would be here today."

"He's trying to stick with his sleep schedule." She explains. "He's got to work tonight. "

He nods, fidgeting. "How's that working out?"

She looks at him. "It's not bad. He seems to like it and he was right, he spends the same amount of time with Henry that he did before. Henry's doing real well too, being quiet and all."

He nods again. "He seemed very observant that Will was sleeping when I watched him. He's a good kid."

She smiles, watching as his eyes move to Henry before he focuses back on his hands. He's clean-shaven now, although she can still see a shadow of a moustache. He's in a more normal outfit, slacks and button-up without a tie though. Her eyes go back to his face though, noticing his jaw line and cheekbones that Brandi had gushed about. She was right, the weight gain and muscle building had changed his baby face into that of a man's. He must feel her looking at him because he glances over at her and blushes when she sees him looking at her. She chuckles, slightly when he rubs his face.

"What?" He asks. "Did I miss a spot or something?"

She shakes her head. "No, I just… you've changed a lot over the years, Spence."

He looks at her confused. "I'm still me."

She smiles at him. He was still the same Spence. Maybe a little more confident in his skills and work, but still the same good man he had been all those years before. "You are still you. Just a little better."

He doesn't know how to take her words, she sees the a sea of emotions fly over his face before he smiles, eventually. "Thanks."

She leans in and ruffles his hair. "Although, I have to admit, I miss the long hair. You look too adult with the short cut."

He frowns. "Morgan says it makes me look younger."

She shrugs. "From the really long hair, yea. You looked distinguished with the long curly hair and the cane. It was kinda hot." She says before she can stop herself. She flushes. "I mean, you know…"

He watches her before he runs his tongue over his bottom lip, analyzing her words. She knows that's exactly what he's doing, she's seen the move a thousand times.

"I was just being silly, Spence. It's… I mean, You are attractive…but I'm…"

"PENNER!" Henry screams, running over to the duo.

"Thank God." She mutters, hiding her face. Spencer casts another look towards her before picking up the boy.

"I tush the GOAT, Penner! I tell Kebin I eat him cause I dinosaur, but he not let me. You let me eat the goat, right Penner? RIGHT?"

He smiles. "Dinosaurs would probably eat goat if they could, but you're a friendly dinosaur, right?"

Henry thinks about it. "Yeah, I nice."

"Then you can't eat that goat. All those kids would get sad. How about we go to a restaurant and get you a nice cow, though?"

Henry's eyes widen. "I eat a whole COW? MOMMY! Penner get me COW!"

JJ looks up at Spencer and Henry and smiles, weakly. "How cool."

Kevin laughs as the three boys start begin walking to the car, Kevin and Spencer talking about dinosaurs, Henry chiming in every now when he understands something they say.

"What happened over here? You're bright red."

"I don't want to talk about it." JJ says, grabbing her purse and Henry's bag before following the men.

"Oh no. Spencer was blushing too. What happened?"

She sighs, knowing Garcia isn't going to let up. "I told him he was hot."

She squeals, causing the men to stop and look back at her. She waves him to continue before looking back at JJ. "Give me every detail!"

JJ tells her what happened. One minute she had been just talking and the next she had been imagining him at Haley's funeral, suit and cane, jaw set, emotion in his eyes. He was beautiful. He was hot and had been for awhile and she just said it. God, she had said it and he knew that she thought that way. He hadn't said anything at all either. What did that mean? Garcia giggles as JJ rambles, distraught that she was having these types of feelings about her best friend.

"It's really not that big of a deal, JJ. You just think he's cute. You're just noticing what the other BAU women have been noticing for at least a year now."

JJ nods, still stuck in her thoughts. It might not be a big deal to Garcia, but if Will ever found out, she knew that it would be awful. She sees Reid look back at them, curiously and she smiles at him. He smiles back and turns back to his conversation with Kevin and Henry. It wasn't a big deal. He was attractive. That was it. Okay, he was attractive and sweet and great with Henry. But she had a boyfriend and that sound end any kind of questions right there, but it didn't, which only added a whole lot more to think about. She shook away the thoughts. She was only thinking this way because she and Will were still working on a few things. It would get better and then the thoughts of Spencer would go away. She just had to continue to work on her relationship with Will and everything would go back to normal.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for all the alerts, reviews, favorites. You guys have been amazing!

Also! I have started a new (well, sorta) story called "Breaking the Cycle". It's Elle/Morgan with a splashes of Elle/Reid. It doesn't seem to be a very popular couple, but you guys should read it anyways. It's angsty, but I think that it should be pretty good. I'm actually excited about it so I would love to hear your feedback.

* * *

"Daddy! You awake!"

Will scoops up the little boy and hugs him. "I sure am. Did you go to the zoo with Mommy and Aunt Penny?"

"Yeah! And Kebin! And Dewek and Emmy and PENNER!"

Will looks at JJ who explains.

"Garcia invited the team to lunch. Emily and Morgan and Spencer showed up at the restaurant."

He nods, looking back at the little boy. "Did you eat your lunch?"

"I eat a cow, Daddy."

"A cow? Wow! You must be full!" Will tickles his tummy and Henry giggles, writhing in his arms.

"Daddy! No Tickle! No tickle! Mommy HELP!"

She smiles as she watches Will and Henry play together. Will was a great father. He was great with Henry. She gets up and saves her little boy, who's laughing. Will reaches out to tickle him so more and the little boy buries his face into her neck. "Noo!" He screams, still laughing. "Mommy! Help me!"

She smiles at Will. "I'll tickle Daddy and you go run!"

Henry raises his face and gives Will a devilish look. She set the little boy down and he scurries behind the couch, watching her as she steps forward to Will, tickling his sides. He just looks at her and she pouts, remembering he's not ticklish. He chuckles and kisses her.

"Pretend." She mutters against her lips, tickling his sides and he shakes her head, wrapping her arms around her tighter and tickling her sides. She wriggles, laughing. "Will! Stop!"

He continues to tickle her and Henry's eyes widen.

"Run, Henry!" She tells him as she laughs. The little boy giggles and runs to his room before Will stops and she turns in his arms.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come with you today." He tells her, kissing her lips.

"Mmh, it's okay. We'll go again when you can come with us. Henry loved the petting zoo."

She rests her head on his chest. It was good he didn't come today, she thinks, remembering her slip up with Spencer.

"I bet. He loves animals." He says before a calm comes over them.

She hears his heartbeat under her cheek. They were already doing so much better than they had before and yet, she was still thinking about Spencer. Sure, they were still feuding over small things, but other than that, they had pretty much stabled out. She couldn't really use that as an excuse on why she was thinking about other men. She raises her head to look at him. Will was a great guy. He had given up his whole life for her when she found out she was pregnant. He didn't deserve to have to worry about her thinking about other guys. He had done everything right. He had always been the one that wanted this more, she realizes. She had hid their relationship and he had wanted the world to know. He wanted to give up his job for her. He wanted to marry her and she had just gone along with the ride. He looks down at her and smiles.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She tells him, her heart aching at the words. She did love him. She loved him a lot and was thankful for him. He was real and honest and he didn't hide who he was. He was a great man and had taught her a lot about love and herself, even, but there had always been some distance between them. She had never let herself completely go to him. She never would have left the BAU if she hadn't been taken away from it and she knew that he had been getting to the point to offer than ultimatum. She would have picked herself and her career over what he needed from her. What did that mean? And would it be that way, with anyone? If god forbid, anything did happen that separated her and Will, would she ever be able to find someone where she would be able to give her whole self to someone, for someone?

"You get him, Mommy?"

She smiles at him as Henry comes back out, peeking out from the corner. She kisses Will's nose, before pushing him to the couch and sitting on his stomach. "Hurry! I need your help!"

Henry squeals and runs towards them. He starts to jump but she catches him and sets him gently on Will's chest.

"WE GET YOU, DADDY!" Henry giggles and begins to tickle him. Will pretends to struggle and fight before surrendering.

She smiles at the two, catching Will's eye. He winks at her and she winks back.

Did it even matter? She had left the BAU. They were doing better. She was happy to an extent. Her life was good. She wasn't going to throw that away just because she realized that Spencer Reid was cute. There was no way to tell if another man would make her toes curl and her heart raise, and she wasn't going throw away what she had to test it, to see. She had a good life that kept her content. She couldn't just let that go because as a little girl, she had read love stories that portrayed this image of head over heels love that makes everything shiny and new. She couldn't let go something real for something that probably didn't exist.

Criminal Minds || Life

She can feel Brandi's eyes on her as she moves through the living room and office, grabbing her stuff for the day. She pauses, looking back at the woman, who looks immediately back at her book.

"Brandi." She says, but the woman doesn't budge. "Brandi, look at me."

The younger woman looks up.

"There is nothing happening with me and Spencer."

"Of course, Ms. JJ, I would never think that you were that type of woman. Not-Not that if you were, I would be…uh… what I mean is that I'm not judging you. Whatever you do is your business, and if you were having a relationship with - I'm just the nanny."

JJ raises her eyebrows and chuckles at her ramble, not knowing what to say to that.

"You…." She shakes her head, moving to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. She pours the coffee before looking back at the woman. "I am not that type of woman and you are not just the nanny. Okay?"

Brandi nods and JJ passes her a cup, before sitting down next to her.

"There might be attraction there, but I am happy with Will."

"I know that. You and Mr.-" Off JJ's glare. "I mean, You and Will are great together."

She nods. "So just because I agree with you that Reid is cute doesn't mean anything is going to happen."

"Of course, JJ." She nods.

"But either way, we're not going to tell Will about this, right? Our little secret."

Brandi looks confused for a second before she nods. "Right. I would never tell Will about you and Dr. Reid, whatever was going on."

JJ frowns. "So you wouldn't tell me if Will was having an affair?"

"I..No! I mean, Yes? I… I don't understand what the right answer is."

JJ laughs and sips her drink. "I'm just playing, Brandi. There's not going to be any affairs on either side. You're okay."

Brandi bites at her bottom lip, looking stressed. She shakes it off and sips her coffee, looking back at the older woman.

"But you do think he's cute?" Brandi asks, over her cup.

JJ breathes through his nose. "Yes."

She notices the woman smirk a little. "And it took you six years to realize it?"

JJ laughs.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: So I'm hoping this doesn

* * *

A couple weeks pass without any big issues. Henry and JJ adjust to Will's job change without much trouble other than a few nights where Henry doesn't want to go to bed, but to work with his dad. They get through it without too many tantrums, though. The main problem JJ realizes is that she's got to get used to falling asleep by herself again, which is strange but surprising freeing. She can sleep in the middle of the bed again and take all the blankets she wants.

Garcia laughs when JJ tells her about her favorite new perk.

"You don't miss having someone to cuddle into?" She asks as Henry runs around, playing with Kevin at the playground. JJ knows the main reason Penelope brings Kevin is to try and get him used to the idea of having kids. She doesn't mind; JJ loves Kevin and hopes the woman's plan works. Henry and Jack could use more kids that understand their parents work. Well, the team's work. It's been months and yet, she still feels part of the team, even though she knows she'll probably never be again. Garcia touches her and brings her back.

"What?"

Garcia repeats her question and JJ shrugs. She does miss having Will around to get up with Henry if he wakes up thirsty. He misses the warmth that Will brought to the bed during some of the cold nights, but most of all she just enjoyed being able to stretch out and having all the pillows. Garcia just shakes her head.

"Oh! Did I tell you? We got a new girl this week. Ashley Seaver. Our favorite little genius thinks she's sexy." She pauses and thinks about it. "I guess it makes sense. She does look a little like you."

JJ raises an eyebrow. "Spencer has a new crush?"

"I think it's displacement, honestly."

"Displacement?"

"Yeah. Displacement. Shifting sexual or aggressive impulses - in this case sexy thoughts about you - to a more acceptable target - a la Seaver."

JJ rolls her eyes. "Spencer would never do that."

"Consciously of course, but he's a man and it's been months since he had some - how do I say this in a child-friendly manner? - feminine company." She wiggles her eyebrows. "And you know what Freud said."

JJ stares at her, not having a clue on what she's saying. "What he say?"

"I don't know. Ask Reid."

JJ laughs. "Penelope, you're nuts."

"But you love me." She winks at her friend. "You know you should have a party, invite everyone, including Ashley, see just what's going on with our doctor and the cadet."

"I…" JJ thinks about it. Did she really want to see Spencer flirt with another girl. It was different if Brandi swooned over him. It was like her little sister wanting to date her best friend. It was cute and innocent, but this was a grown woman who Spencer, according to Garcia, wanted to get to know better. She made a face. "Alright."

"Good, because I already invited everyone out to dinner tonight. If you agreed, I figured we could head back to your place for drinks or something."

JJ stares at her and Garcia gives her a dazzling smile.

Criminal Minds || Life

The dinner goes smoothly and JJ invites the team back to her place to enjoy in some more conversation and some wine after she puts Henry down for the night. Will leaves early, having errands to run before going to work. She kisses him as he leaves and starts to get Henry ready for bed. She's helping Henry brush his teeth when Spencer knocks against the bathroom door. Henry grins at the man.

"Look Penner!" He flashes his teeth to the man who inspects them closer.

"Looking good, buddy"

"I see yours?"

Spencer gives him a big toothy grin similar to Henry's and JJ finds herself smiling with the two.

"You two are dorks." She ruffles Henry's hair before setting him back on the floor. He hugs Spencer's leg.

"night-night story, Penner!"

Spencer looks at JJ before back at Henry. "Don't you want Mommy to read you a story, instead?"

"No! Penner!"

He looks back up at JJ and she frowns.

"You don't have to Spence, if you're uncomfortable with it."

He looks back at Henry who looks sad and confused. "Penner, pwease?"

She watches Spencer struggle for a few minutes before he picks up the boy. "Okay."

She watches as he sets the little boy in the boy's new toddler bed before Henry points to his books. Spencer picks one and begins to read. Henry stills, falling asleep easier than usual, exhausted from his late night, surrounded by action. JJ walks up on the other side of the bed and kisses her son before he falls asleep.

"Good night, handsome." She tells him. "I love you."

"Love you Mommy. Love you Penner."

She watches Spencer who reaches out to touch the little boy. "Love you." He murmurs before staring back at the book. She doesn't speak until she knows Henry's fast asleep.

"What's up?" She asks, looking at the man.

He shakes his head, his fingers tracing the car on the cover.

"Don't give me that, Spence. You didn't want to read to him. Why?"

He shrugs and he doesn't say anything for a while. She's about to question him again when he finally speaks. "It just feels…so personal. The last voice he hears before falling asleep. It's…a parental thing."

"You are his god father, Spence."

He shrugs again. "A Godparent doesn't actually parent. We just buy him a lot of stuff and babysit when you and Will want a night out. I teach him things because I'm smart but… I don't… what do I know about being a parent? I don't really have a good example."

She watches him, seeing the insecurity as he continues to fidget. "Spence." She reaches out, grabbing his hand. He looks up, emotion in his eyes, jaw set. He continues,

"Every father figure I've had left. I don't want to be that to him. I don't want him to look up to me and then something…" He shakes his head. "With Elle, and Hotch….and Haley, I don't want him to get close to me and then a case goes wrong and I-"

She presses her fingers against his lips. "Don't even say it."

He looks up at her and she feels his bottom lip push out, brushing against her fingers. It's subtle and soft, but gets all of her attention. She holds her breath as she moves to drop her hand, her fingertips running over his lips as she pulls back. She's not the only one who notices it either, his eyes set on her. It's a tense, smoldering moment, neither able to break eye contact.

"Is little man asleep yet?" Garcia interrupts and JJ jumps out of her trace and Spencer gets off the bed, immediately leaving the room. Garcia watches him leave before looking back at JJ.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing."

She walks past her back to her other guests

.

Criminal Minds || Life

The night goes off without any more problems, although she notices Spencer drinking more than usual. Everyone seems to have a good time, though, enjoying each other's company. Kevin and Garcia leave first followed by Emily, who takes Ashley home. Morgan leaves a little later, leaving her with Spencer. He clears his throat as she comes back to the catch after walking Derek out. He stands up.

"I should get going too."

"I thought we could talk about your cases a little. I miss it." She smiles. He pauses, briefly, before sitting back down. She sits next to him and listens as he tells her about the last few cases, before talking about the most recent. She smirks when he mentions Ashley.

"and Is that it?" She asks, after he gives his opinion of the cadet.

He frowns, looking confused. "What do you mean?"

"Someone might have mentioned that you thought you and Ashley might-"

"I do not like Ashley." He rolls his eyes.

"Really, because I'm pretty sure I caught you looking at her a few times tonight." She teases and watches as he rests his head against his arm on the back of the couch. He shrugs, casually. It's easy to tell he's had too much to drink, he's too much at ease. His movements looser, his actions missing his normal "should I, should I not?" stiffness.

"She's pretty." He murmurs, his cheeks don't even redden at the answer. He licks his lips before speaking again. "But I like someone else."

They lock eyes again briefly before Spencer looks down at his glass of wine. She forces herself to breathe out.

"Oh? Who?"

He shrugs. "She's really beautiful and smart and…." His eyes rise back up to her.

"And?" She moves a little closer and they both notice.

He visibly swallows as he leans a little forward. "JJ, I.."

She leans forward, following his lead when his phone begins to sing.

He pulls back, immediately, grabbing the phone out of his pocket. "It's Austen." He murmurs before silencing the call.

"Oh? You still talk to her?" She leans, leaning back against the couch.

"Occasionally. I'm happy for her. She's doing something she loves. How can I be upset at her for that?"

She nods. That makes perfect sense for Spencer not to be angry with Austen. She shakes her head.

"She left you for a job, Spence. You're allowed to be upset."

"My mother always said that when the right woman comes along, nothing will be able to keep you apart. So I only assume that Austin wasn't that woman, so being upset makes no sense. We get along and she's happy in L.A. so… why not continue being friends?"

She shakes her head. "Who knew Spencer Reid was a romantic?"

He chuckles. "I grew up, reading 15th and 16th century literature, it's natural to feel chivalrous."

"Well you are, very. You're a great man, Spence, and I hope you do find the right woman."

"And what if I already have and she just doesn't know it yet?"

They stare at each other for a moment as she sits there, unsure of what to say. He clears his throat.

"I should get going. It's getting late."

She watches as he gets up, still in shock at his words. "Good night." She says, a little breathless and he nods before walking out the door.

She leans against the couch again, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. "Well, shit." She grabs his wine glass and takes a long sip.


	13. Chapter 13

Spencer doesn't come around for days, which isn't strange enough to get a response from Henry or Will, but the fact that he doesn't even call bothers her. They had shared not one, but two intense moments and now he was just gone. Sure, it was for the best. They needed to figure out what it meant. She was in a relationship and she was happy. She didn't need to be thinking about kissing her best friend! Oh, god. She had almost kissed her best friend. Not once, but twice! She rubs her hand against her slacks, remembering how his lips had felt against her fingertips. She had dreamed about what would have happened if they had actually kissed, imagining his lips on hers. In her dream, he was a good kisser, slightly shy, hesitant in his touches, but good nonetheless. Oh, god. She needed to stop that. She needed to stop thinking about Spencer in that way at all. She was never going to kiss Spencer Reid. He was never going to touch her in an non-platonic way. She was with Will. She was with Will and that was it. Whatever might have happened that night hadn't and it was done. It wasn't going to happen again, so she needed to just stop thinking about it. He had been emotional and drunk and they had gotten carried away, that was all. There was no need to continue to think about it. They would talk about it, laugh at the absurdity and then everything would go back to normal.

"You okay, Ms. JJ?"

Brandi asks and JJ looks up from the newspaper, realizing she had been staring at the same page for the last 15 minutes.

"I'm fine."

"…Are you sure, you've seemed… distracted these last few days. Did something happen with you and Mr. Will?"

"No, no. Everything's fine." She folds the paper. "I'm fine, I promise. Will you tell Will I'll bring home dinner tonight?"

She nods, still watching JJ as she grabs thermos of coffee. JJ pauses, looking back at the woman.

"I've really seemed distracted?" She asks and Brandi nods, shyly. JJ nods with a frown. "Alright, Well It must be work. It's…. a lot of work, you know. A lot of responsibility."

"Of course. It must be hard being the liaison for the Department of Defense. I mean that's like… You could be part of the president's staff one day! That-That's… definitely a lot of work." Brandi says, her words slightly rushed together.

JJ chuckles at the woman's anxiety. "I think that's a little extreme, but thanks for the confidence boost."

Brandi nods and the two look each other for a second. JJ knows that Brandi doesn't believe her, but the younger woman doesn't say anything and she's definitely not going to bring it up. She smiles, weakly, before walking out the door.

**Criminal Minds || Life**

She knocks on Spencer's door and waits. It's 6, so she knows he has to be home or at least she hopes. The door opens and Spencer tilts his head. He's changed out of his work clothes into something more comfortable, a t-shirt and worn sweats. She notices he's not wearing any shoes or socks and the thought takes her back to when she visited him after Tobias Hankel. She doesn't want to think of that though, it still brings up bad memories.

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk." She steps past him, inside his apartment. She's only been here a few times and she's always surprised by the lack of books in the apartment. With everything he knows, she had always expected there to be piles and piles of them. She had asked about it once and he had told her that it wasn't necessary to keep a book if he had already read it. Although, he does have a bookshelf crammed full of books, his mother's - she knows. She had asked about that too. His eyes had clouded and he had cleared his throat before telling her how he could never get rid of her stuff. She shakes the thoughts away and turns back to him.

"About the dinner party?" He asks, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I had way too much to drink, I don't know why I overdid it and I know that I said some things I shouldn't have."

"But did you mean them?" She asks.

"I.." He clears his throat, with a shrug, his eyes on his feet. "Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it matters." She steps towards him, raising his chin. "I don't want things to be awkward between us, Spence. You're my best friend and if you think that I'm…" She trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

"I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship, JJ, you know that. Or your relationship with Will. I lov- I care for Henry a lot and I would never… I should have never said those things, true or not. It was inappropriate and I apologize."

"Spence, I know you love Henry and I know that scares you because of everything we've saw. Everything we've been through with Elle leaving and Gideon and then with the Reaper, but you got to get work through it. I know what it's like to be scared that something's going to happen and that's why every moment I had with Henry before I switched jobs, I made the most of. If something did happen, I would want Henry to know that you, without a doubt, loved him and did everything you could with him before you went away."

"But that would hurt him even more."

She steps towards him again, caressing his cheek. "Not having him know how great you are because you were scared of losing us would hurt me."

He raises his eyes to hers before he leans forwards. She closes her eyes, sure he's going to kiss her, when he leans his forehead against hers. She breathes out, slightly frustrated. "Spence."

"I've been having headaches." He confesses and she opens her eyes to see his closed. She pulls back to look at him, more clearly.

"What kind of headaches?"

"Migraines with sensitivity to light and nausea. I… It's only been a couple and never at work, well that I can't work through, but-"

"Have you been to the doctor?"

He shakes his head, pulling back. "Everyone gets headaches. It's not that big of a deal. I'm just overreacting."

She watches him as he starts to close off before she grabs his arm. "It is a big deal. You wouldn't have mentioned it if you didn't think so. And then, with all the talk with not wanting to get too close with Henry… do you think it's something bad, like.. Really bad?"

He doesn't look up from her hand on his forearm so she tugs up his chin to look her straight in the eye. "Spence, talk to me." She hears the desperation in her voice, but ignores it right now, focusing on him.

"I don't know." He says, sounding helpless and it scares her.

**Criminal Minds || Life**

She convinces Spencer to go get it checked out before she leaves, her mind even more clouded that it had been before her visit. She stops to get something for dinner before heading home, trying to sort out everything before she arrives. If Brandi has noticed something than she knows Will has. She's got to get a hold of herself, but with the new information that Spencer could be really sick only makes things worse. What if he had something wrong and he wouldn't be around much longer? She shakes those thoughts away, immediately. Spencer was not allowed to die, End of story. Still, her throat constricts and her eyes water before she tries to shake it away. He wasn't allowed to die and that was final. She wipes her eyes before grabbing the food and walking inside.

"MOMMY!" She sets down the food on the counter before scooping up Henry into a big hug, exactly what she needed.

"Mommy, too tight! Too Tight!" He says, giggling and she releases her death grip slightly. Henry looks at her, placing his hands on her cheeks. "Mommy sad."

She gives him a big grin. "No, Mommy's not sad. Mommy just needs some Henry kisses!"

Henry grins, largely before placing kisses all over her face. "Bedder, Mommy?"

"Much Better." She kisses his forehead before setting him down. She notices Will, looking at them, curiously. Yeah, there's definitely going to be a conversation about all this tonight. And she has a feeling it's going to be bad.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Notes: I'm reposting this because yesterday was weird. Sorry for the confusion (and thank you to the person who reviewed it before I reposted it. You're awesome. :) )

* * *

"You were late today."

JJ nods, washing her face. "I had a few things to do at the office before picking up the food."

"You got China One. Isn't that near Reid's place?"

She pauses and looks up at him through the mirror. He stares at her, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. She licks her lips before turning to face him. "It is. I went to talk to him,"

"And then you come home, upset. What happened?"

"Don't give me that attitude, Will. Nothing happened."

She sees the muscle in his jaw flex as he clenches his jaw. "So Spencer just makes you cry now, just like that."

"I wasn't crying."

"Even the two year old noticed it, Jennifer! What is going on? You've been acting strange all week."

She sighs. "It's nothing, Will. I promise."

He shakes his head. "No, it's not nothing. You have dinner with Spencer and everyone and then you're all weird and then you go to Reid's and come home crying. That's not nothing, Jennifer. Tell me what's going on. Are you having an affair?"

"No!" She cries out, looking at him. "Why is that always your first suspicion with him, Will? Nothing has ever happened with me and Reid before. Nothing."

"Bullshit, Jenn! Penelope is always talking about how you two went on a date and-"

"One date! One, because Gideon thought Spencer needed to get out. We went to a damn football game, Will. It wasn't some big romantic deal! It was just a game!"

"And the three days you spent at his place?" Will asks and JJ sighs, Garcia really needs to learn to keep her mouth shut. "And Derek told me about that, by the way."

She glares at him when he basically reads her mind.

"He spent two days tortured by an psychotic. He was beaten. He DIED, Will. He needed someone to help him and I felt guilty for what happened. You don't know what Hankel did. You weren't even around then, so why does it matter? I could have had a whole relationship with Spencer before you came around! It wouldn't matter now because I'm with you."

"His our son's godfather. It would matter! It would matter a lot!"

"This whole thing is absurd. I didn't have a relationship with him, so talking about it is ridiculous."

"You're the one who brought it up, Jayje." He walks towards her, leaning against the sink. "I just want to know what's going on."

"Nothing. It could be nothing. I don't know yet, Will. I overreacted. I got overly emotional, but it's really nothing right now and if it becomes something, I'll tell you about it. It's just not my place to tell yet."

He watches her, confused. "Is he okay?"

"He's just going through some things and I let it get to me." She leans up and kisses him. "I promise there's nothing for you to worry about."

He kisses her before nodding. "Okay." He doesn't sound convinced, but it's enough to end the conversation. "I have to get ready for work."

She nods, watching him leave the bathroom. She breathes out, feeling bad. She had just lied to Will. Well, sort of lied. She hadn't told the whole truth, which if she was talking to Henry, that was a lie. She pushes away from the sink and moves into the bedroom to see him changing shirts. She walks past him moving to Henry's room. The little boy laid sprawled out on his bed, fast asleep. She leans over, brushing his long blonde locks out of his face. She kisses his forehead before sitting in the rocker, thinking about everything.

She didn't know why Spencer and she were having these problems now. They had been friends for almost 7 years now, what had changed? It couldn't just be because she thought he was attractive. She thought Derek was attractive too, but never once had thought about kissing him. Okay, there was that once, but she had been very drunk and he had been holding her up, hands against hard muscle. She shakes away the thoughts. That did not matter. Or did it? Derek _was _attractive. He had the body of a Greek god. Everyone thought he was hot. Spencer, on the hand, was a 6'1 scrawny man who sometimes she didn't know if he was speaking English or not. She closes her eyes, leaning back in the chair. Spencer Reid was not her type.

"Hey."

She opens her eyes at the voice. She watches him as he walks up to her, raising her head to keep her eyes on him as he gets closer.

"I'm sorry, cherie." He murmurs, leaning over to kiss her. "I know I'm being ridiculous."

"You know they say that if your significant other believes you're cheating, they're most likely the one that's cheating."

He smirks. "Oh, really?"

"Mmhmm. Are you having an affair with the nanny?"

He laughs. "Oh yes. Me and Brandi have a fiery bouts of passion when you're at work. It's incredible."

She smiles against his lips when he kisses her again. "Mmh. They say you got to watch out for the shy, quiet ones." She wraps her arms around his neck, keeping him close. Will was her type. Will was the type of guy her dad would approve of. Her hands move through the back of his hair before he pulls away. He smiles at her, kissing her forehead.

"I'll see you when you get home from work." He tells her.

"I love you, Will."

He smiles. "I love you too."

Criminal Minds || Life

"Ms. Jareau, you have a visitor. Ma'am."

She looks up to see a man in a military uniform and Spencer Reid.

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

Spencer watches the man leave before looking back at JJ. "Your security is way more than ours."

JJ chuckles. "This is the Pentagon, Spence."

He nods. "That's very true." He sits, fidgeting.

She walks around the desk, sitting against the edge. "What are you doing here?"

"I was thinking about our conversation."

She nods. "Oh?"

"And I… I realized that we never really talked about the thing that you came to talk about."

She straightens. "Oh."

He looks up at her before looking back at his hands.

"And you want to talk about that now?" She asks, her voice betraying her when it waivers slightly.

He stands up and paces for a moment. "I… You asked me if I really felt the way that I said I did when…that night."

She watches him before nodding. "I did and you said that it didn't matter, because it was inappropriate."

"It is inappropriate. It's very, very inappropriate." He walks over to her and she looks up at him.

"Alright." She says, slowly, watching as his eyes move over her face.

"But I can't stop thinking about it." He says, honestly and she notices his eyes fall to her lips. She licks him, instinctively.

"You can't?" She pushes, trying to get him to say more. She can hear her heart pounding in her ears as he continues to stare at her lips.

"I… keep feeling your fingers against my lips and I….I think about…." He trails off, his eyebrows furrowing. "I should go." He says after a moment. "This was a bad idea. This was very very bad."

He turns to leave and she grabs his arm. "Spence, stop."

He turns back and looks at her.

"Talk to me." She urges.

He swallows visibly before he leans in and kisses her. It shocks her and she pushes him back at first, their eyes both wide as they stare at each other. Her fingers clutch as his shirt before tugging him back, kissing him again, softer this time. He pulls away first and looks at her.

"This is bad." He mutters before he leans into kiss her again. She meets him half way, unable to resist. He kisses better than she expected. He isn't shy at all in his touches at all and reaches out, his hands moving up his thighs, not hesitating at all. She pushes him back a little, her hands running over his chest as she tries to calm her breathing. His hands move to her desk, moving in between her legs. She looks him over before raising her eyes back to his face.

"This is very bad," She agrees.

Someone clears their throat and Spencer turns to look as she looks over his shoulder. It's the same Lieutenant from earlier.

"Ms. Jareau, you're," He clears his throat, straightening, eyes forward. "You're needed in the conference room. Secretary Mabus is about to arrive."

Her eyes widen and she pushes Spencer back, getting off the desk. "Yes, of course. Lieutenant. I'll… I'll be right there."

"Yes, ma'am. Sir." He nods before turning and walking away.

"Shit, Shit, Shit." She mutters, running her fingers through her hair. Spencer sits against the desk, watching her pace before he reaches out to grab her, tugging her forward. She looks at him as he runs his hands over her back.

"It's okay. Calm down."

"Calm down! I just kissed my best friend and I have a meeting with the secretary of the Navy and now… you have your arms wrapped around me." Her voice lowers as she finishes. "You have your arms around me, Spencer." She says it softly, her hands moving over his chest again. She looks at him.

"We have to talk about this." She tells him.

"But we can't right now. Because you have a meeting."

"I have a meeting." She leans in to kiss him again. He pulls back first.

"Now. You have a meeting now."

"Right! Right. Now. Uh.." She looks over her shoulder. "Lieutenant Donahue?" She calls, moving out of Spencer's arms again.

The man appears. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Will you escort Dr. Reid out, please?"

"Yes ma'am. Dr. Reid?" Donahue waits as Spencer smiles at JJ.

"You'll do great. Just be yourself."

"Yeah." She watches as Donahue and Spencer leave, leaning back against her desk for a minute. She didn't have time to think about any of this right now, but her mind was going crazy. She had kissed Spencer. Twice. Three times! She groans before her fingers move over her lips. Spencer had kissed her. They had kissed and it had been… amazing. No, no. She couldn't think about that. Or how Will would react. Oh, God. Will.

"Jareau!"

She straightens, pushing the thoughts out of her head before grabbing the files off her desk and rushing to the conference room. All of that would have to wait until the meeting.


	15. Chapter 15

JJ sets down her bag as she gets home. She frowns when Henry doesn't run to greet her.

"Shh. Mommy's here." She hears Will before she walks further into the room, spotting her two boys in the kitchen. Henry sees her and grins.

"MOMMY! We made DINNER!"

Will looks at him, shaking his head. "It was supposed to be a surprise, Henry."

The little boy's eyes widen. "Oh no! Mommy, I kiddin!"

Will and she both chuckles and she reaches out for the little boy.

"It's okay, buddy. I bet it will be great. Did you help Daddy make it?"

He nods, enthusiastically. "I watch! No burned!"

"Oh yeah? Daddy does like to overcook things, doesn't he?"

The little boy giggles and Will frowns. "I'm a very good cook, thank you very much."

JJ looks at him as he looks at them. She wonders if he can tell that she kissed Spencer. God, She had kissed Spencer and was now at home with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend that she had just cheated on with her best friend. She smiles at him, uneasily.

"You're a great cook, Will."

He leans over and kisses her. She kisses him back, her mind comparing the kiss to the ones she had experienced hours ago. Will's lips were chapped, his kiss more dominating than Spencer's, who had been confident but not overtaking. She pulls back first, feeling even more guilty that she was thinking about Reid while kissing Will.  
"We have to talk after dinner." She murmurs and she sees his eyebrows furrow.

"Is everything okay?"

She gives him the most confident smile she can give. "We just need to talk after dinner."

He nods. "Okay." He takes Henry. "Henry and I set up a bath for you while we finish dinner."

Henry nods. "Bubbles, mommy!"

She looks at Will, feeling even worse. He had set up a whole relaxing evening for her and she had cheated on him. Wonderful.

Criminal Minds || Life

There's a knock on the bathroom door and she opens her eyes for a moment to see Will. She closes them again, unable to look at him at the moment.

"You look relaxed." He muses.

"You're amazing." She murmurs before clearing her throat when her voice cracks.

"I'm not." She hears him sit on the toilet next to her. "I'm overly jealous of your friendship with Reid and… I'm an ass. I just wanted to do something to say I was sorry."

She dips further in the water, her stomach muscles tightening at his words.

"You don't need to apologize, Will."

"I do. I'm sorry."

She clenches her jaw as his lips brush against forehead.

"I love you. Dinner's ready when you want to get out."

"Alright. Thank you."

She hears the door click closed before she sits up, rubbing her hands over her face. She couldn't tell Will, now. Not after this. Not after he had just admitted being jealous and being sorry for it. How could she tell him that he had been right, that she had kissed Spencer, not once but three different times and wanted to kiss him again. Why had Will picked tonight to do something amazing? Who was she kidding, Will always did these type of things. He had quit his job for her. He had left his home. He had asked her to marry him because he wanted to do the right thing for her and Henry. And she had repaid him by making his worst nightmare a reality. There was no way she could tell him about this, now. There was no way she could tell him, but how could she keep a secret like this? She couldn't. If she told him, then she would clear her conscious, deal with the consequences, but she'd hurt Will. If she didn't, she was admitting she was wrong, she was not only a cheater, but…worse. She was keeping it a secret…but why? Because she wanted to kiss Spencer again? But if she told Will and they broke up, she could. But she'd break up her family and Henry was the reason she hadn't left before, why she had tried make it work. All that would be useless if she told Will and left. Henry deserved a happy family. If she told Will, he'd never trust her again and Henry would end up losing her dad. That wasn't fair. It wasn't right for Henry to lose his father because her mistakes. She wouldn't tell Will and she just wouldn't kiss Reid anymore. She'd talk to Spencer. He'd understand. She nods to herself. It'd be okay. It would all be okay.

Criminal Minds || Life

She takes a deep breath before she knocks. She had spoken to Will, telling him about her big meeting instead of confessing her adultery. He had been proud of her, which had made things so much worse, but she had kept it together until he left work. After he was at the station, she had called Brandi over and now, she was standing at Reid's door. She had to get this over with now. She couldn't let it go on any further.

Spencer opens the door and she can tell she woke him. He's only in a pair of sweat pants that are slung low enough for her to see the color and brand of his boxer briefs. His hair's a mess and he's got a sleepy confused half grin on his face. His hand moves to rub the back of his neck as he slightly stretches.

"Hey." He says, softly. "Is everything okay?"

She watches him for a moment before shaking it away and stepping inside. He frowns and reaches out for her as she brushes against him. He pulls her against him and her hands set on his chest and she lowers her head.

"Hey." He says, "What's wrong?" His voice is thick with sleep and concern. She ignores it, fingers running over of the pale smooth skin, so much different from Will's tanned chest, which covered in thin layer of hair. He breathes in deep and out slow, her touch affecting him. She can feel his eyes on him before his hands move from her elbows up slow to her wrist, a soft, calming touch. "JJ…"

"I have a son." She says, looking up at him. "and a boyfriend."

His fingers tighten against her wrists and she sees his jaw clench. "I know."

"So what are we doing? I'm not the type of woman that betrays her family."

"I know." He repeats, his voice as soft as its been since she walked in the door.

It's like a trance that they're stuck in, scared to voice their words loud enough for anyone else to hear. They both know that this is wrong, it's why they're whispering, she knows it. Still, her eyes move back to his chest, her hand resting above his heart, feeling it pound against his ribs. She knows her heart's doing the same. It's the situation, in another's man house while her boyfriend's at work, her son in bed. How could her heart not being racing? Her fingers brush against his chest over his heart before she looks back up at him. He's watching her, closely.

"Spence, I-"

He interrupts her, pressing his lips against hers, moving his hands holding hers up to his shoulders. She continues to move her hands upward until her arms wrap around his neck, pressing into him and into the kiss. She feels his hands move to her back, holding her close as their mouths battle for dominance of the kiss. She pulls back first but he doesn't let her get far enough away, following her and kissing her again once she gets her breath. Her fingers move to his hair, kissing him back, the kiss becoming more intense. Her fingers clutch as his short locks as he turns them and steps towards her, pushing her against the front door. The hardness of the wood grabs her attention and she pulls back.

"Spencer." Her voice is huskier than normal; it's low and throaty.

She licks her lips, her eyes closing when she feels his breath against her neck. If his lips brush against his neck, she's going to lose it. She can feel his body against hers and she knows he can feel her, her chest rising and falling rapidly against him. He shifts a little closer, his hand moving against the door, close to her hip, and she inhales sharply as his body presses more against her, his sweats not hiding his excitement much at all. She needs to push him away, she knows it. She came over to tell him they couldn't do this and now here she was, pressed in between the door and his half-naked, lean, warm body. His soft lips begin to run over her skin, kissing right under her ear, against her pulse point, and then finally at the curve in between her neck and shoulder, each eliciting a breathy moan from her and another reason not to stop him.


	16. Chapter 16

"Spencer." She whimpers as his hand moves from the door to her hip, thumb brushing against the bone. "Spencer, stop."

He pulls back, looking at her, breathing heavy. His tongue darts in between his lips as he tries to focus. He steps back, giving her space, but she reaches out to tug him back. He looks at her, confused.

"I thought you wanted me to stop."

"I do. I mean, I don't, but…we…I'm…" She leans her head back against the door, her eyes closing, frustrated. He moves and she moans when his mouth moves against his throat, taking advantage of the newly exposed skin. She feels his nose brush against under her skin, his breath hot on her skin.

"Tell me what you want. Whatever you want." He murmurs, his hand moving up under her shirt a little more, his palm brushing up her ab muscles. She whimpers before reaching out and grabbing his wrist.

"We can't do this, Spence. Not like this. I have a family."

She tugs his hand away from her and he nods, stepping away. She doesn't grab him back this time, though she desperately wants to. She stays against the door, watching him.

"Henry." He says and she nods. He looks sick before he turns away from her, arms moving to run his fingers though his hair, which is going everywhere now from her fingers clutching at it. She focusing on slowing her breathing, her eyes never leaving his back. When he turns back to her, she sees the same struggle and shame that she's been dealing with. She steps towards him and he steps back.

"We can't do this. Your family. I can't tear that apart. I…I'm so sorry, I.."

She reaches out for him and he tugs back, but her fingers tighten around his wrists. "Spence, stop. This isn't your fault."

"I kissed you! I came to your office and I kissed you."

"And I kissed you back. I came over and…I wanted you."

He looks up at her, his eyes pausing on her lips before they raise back to her eyes. "You did?"

She breathes in, her hands moving over his chest. "Maybe… maybe you should go put on a shirt and we'll talk."

He looks down at her hands before back at her face. He has to be able to see that her eyes on his body. He grabs her hands and takes them off of him before taking a step backwards. "I'll be right back."

Criminal Minds || Life

It's hard to concentrate on talking to Spencer after having his hands and his lips on her. She realizes how much he licks and sucks on his lips as he talks. Her eyes keep falling to them and she knows he notices, which could be resulting in him licking them even more. She clears her throat and focuses on the spot behind him.

"Are you going to tell Will?" He asks and her eyes shift back to him.

"I have to. I can't keep this from him, can I?"

He swallows difficultly. "I… It's not going to happen again. If you tell him…would he…"

"He'd be so angry. I'm scared that he would try to hurt you."

Spencer breathes out. "Right. Because…" He gulps. "I deserve that."

"No, you don't, Spence." She reaches out to touch his leg and both of their eyes fall to it. She moves her hand and he frowns.

"Things are never going to be the same again, are they?"

She looks up at him. How could they? He was her best friend and now she couldn't even touch him without them both thinking about doing something more. She could no longer turn to Reid for comfort. He could never just come over to hang out again. She had pick between her son's father or his godfather. God, this was so unfair.

"No, JJ.., Please, don't cry." She hears Spencer say before he moves closer to her. He reaches out to touch her face and she looks up at him, seeing the look of concern and helplessness. He leans his forehead against hers and she closes her eyes, breathing his scent in. "It's going to be okay. We can do this."

"I don't want to lose you. Henry needs-"

His thumb wipes away the tears falling. "We already discussed that. Him not knowing me would hurt you, remember? I'm not going to hurt you."

She opens her eyes to look at him, his words echoing in her head. She believed him. The look on his face, the tone of his voice. He was completely serious, totally passionate about it. She doesn't know why the words mean so much, but they repeat in her ears and makes her feel very warm. It's what she blames for what happens next. She leans in and kisses him again. He responds to the kiss, his fingers tangling in her hair. This kiss is softer than the ones at the office and near the door. It's slow, but passionate and both are completely enthralled in each other's touch. She pushes against him as his free hand moves to her waist, guiding her to his lap, the kiss never breaking. She pulls back first, but stays close.

"Tell me again." She breathes against his lips.

"I'll never hurt you." He murmurs just as soft. "I never could."

She pushes her body against his, nose brushing against his as she tugs up his shirt. He pulls back to help her get rid of it before leaning back to kiss her, his hands fumbling against the buttons of his shirt. She helps, starting at the bottom while he works from the top. He pulls back from the kiss to push the button-up of her shoulders. She watches as his eyes move over her skin.

"You're beautiful." He breathes out, his hands finally hesitating before he reaches out running her hand up his stomach. He's studying her, looking at each scar and mark on her skin. It's unnerving and she feels like she can't breathe as he leans over, kissing above the fabric of her bra. "Absolutely breath-taking."

She whimpers as his lips continue to move over the skin, still taking his time, still studying her. Her hands dig into his hair, letting him do whatever he wants. Her mind focusing only on him.

Criminal Minds || Life

She wakes, warm flesh against her cheek. She looks up to see Spencer, asleep. He rests on his arm and looks totally at ease. She moves, feeling the blanket brush against bare skin and tugs it around her, getting up. She finds her pants near the door and grabs them, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. It's 4:15 and she has two voicemails from Brandi. She moves to the couch, grabbing her clothes as she finds them, before she listens to the messages.

"Hey, Ms. JJ, it's midnight and I'm just wondering where you are. Henry's still asleep and doing fine, but you said you were only going to be an hour, so… I thought I would call and check in. Call me back when you get this."

She breathes through her nose, getting dressed before she listens to the next one.

"JJ? It's Brandi…again. It's almost 2 and uhm… Henry just woke for a glass of water and I realized that you're still not here. I know you said you were going to Dr. Reid's so…. I… I'm not going to call Will, but uh… I just want to make sure you're okay. Okay. Bye."

"You okay?" She looks up to see Spencer, half asleep, dressed only in the blue boxer briefs from earlier and one pink sock. He scratches at his head before he yawns. She smiles at how cute he looks and stands up, walking up to kiss him.

"I'm fine, but I have to get home."

He nods, but wraps his arms around her, pulling her close and nuzzling against her. She smiles, brushing her nose up against his, getting him to raise his chin to kiss her. It's a soft sweet kiss and she knows that the night has changed everything and there's no way to fix it anymore. She hadn't just kissed Spencer a few times. They had spent the night together, they had connected much deeper than Will could ever forgive and she could ever forget. She places a chaste kiss on his lips before stepping out of his embrace.

"I'll see you." She says and he tilts his head, slightly, looking at her, analyzing her words.

"Like this…or…" He bites at his bottom lip, unsure of how to word what he wants to ask. Maybe he's just unsure he wants to know the answer, but she doesn't even have an answer. It's all still so up in the air. They had a great night, but she still had a family. She still had to make the choices to make. Would she tell Will or keeping it secret? Would she see Reid again in this type of way or could they pretend it never happened?

"I'll see you." She repeats and he nods, walking her out.


	17. Chapter 17

JJ drops her shoes by the door before walking quietly into the kitchen. There's no way she can go back to sleep. She just committed adultery, she couldn't just lay in the bed she shared with her son's father and act like everything was okay. She grabs the bottle of whiskey Will keeps in the freezer before grabbing a class.

"JJ?" Brandi whispers, appearing out of nowhere and the blonde nearly drops her glass.

"Jesus, Brandi. I thought you'd be asleep."

Brandi looks at the bottle of liquor before back up at JJ before at her feet. JJ sighs and grabs another glass for the girl and moves to the table. She sets the glasses down before filling them more than she should. She sits, waiting for the other woman to do so too. Brandi gets the idea and sits, her hands wrapping around the glass. JJ wonders if the woman had ever drank before.

"Have you ever done something you know you should regret, but can't force yourself to think of it as a bad thing?"

Brandi looks confused. "What?" She says, quietly and JJ shakes her head, sipping the whiskey. She leans back in her chair.

"When you know something's wrong and you feel bad for doing it - you feel so incredibly bad for doing it - but on the other hand, you're…" She bites at her lip, trying to think of the right words.

"Glad that you did it?" Brandi says, looking at her and JJ breathes through her nose.

"Yeah, that works." She takes another sip of the liquor before setting the glass down with a chuckle and a shake of the head. "I never thought I'd be this person."

"What person?" Brandi asks before raising the glass to sniff at the drink.

"The kind that feels a rush from doing something bad. The kind that…" She couldn't admit that she had cheated. Not yet, net out loud. "that plays with fire."

Brandi looks back at her. "Are you that type of person, Ms. JJ?"

JJ licks her lips. She guessed she was now. "No, I didn't think I was."

Brandi watches her before she starts to fidget with her glass. "JJ, did you…"

The blonde waits, hoping the woman will say it. Someone has to say it.

"Did something happen with Dr. Reid?" Brandi murmurs, quickly and lowly.

JJ breathes out. Did something happen with Dr. Reid. She picks up the glass and takes a big sip.

"I slept with him."

Brandi's eyes widen before she tries her best to make her face back neutral. She clears her throat before raising her own glass to her lips. She makes a face at the taste before pushing it away from her. She looks back at the blonde before lowering her eyes, giving a fake noncommittal shrug.

"Oh." She says and a long silence surrounds them before Brandi looks up, lip in between her teeth, big blush on her face.

"Was he good?"

JJ looks at her before a giggle escapes and then a laugh. Brandi blushes even further as JJ tries to compose herself. She hadn't expected that at all. Well, maybe from Garcia. Garcia! She makes plans to go see her today, as soon as she can.

Criminal Minds || Life

JJ shows up at the BAU at eight in the morning. She sees Ashley and Emily talking at the desks, spots Spencer in the break room, making his normal cup of coffee. She rushes into Garcia's office before anyone can spot her. She's glad the woman is there.

"I slept with Reid." She tells the woman immediately. She can't hide it from Garcia and it's easier to just get straight to it.

Garcia turns, slowly. She merely blinks before she moves to the door. She closes it, before she looks back at the blonde. "You what?"

"I… I slept with Reid." She falters under the woman's stare.

Garcia shakes her head. "No, no, no! Jennifer Jareau! Have I taught you nothing?"

She sits in her chair and wheels another up for the woman to sit it. "Sit. Now!"

JJ frowns, sitting down. She hadn't expected this at all.

"Rule One: Attraction is inevitable! Example: Derek and I. Derek is a hunky chocolate god that I admit I stare at way too often. Nothing is wrong with that. Example two: You and Reid, He has always thought you were the most gorgeous woman here and he has always stared at you. "

JJ bites at her bottom lip, forcing to stop the smile that wants to overtake her face.

"But Rule two shows us something more. Rule Two is you do not touch! EXAMPLE! Derek and I. We flirt. We say the dirtiest things, but it's all in good faith. Derek knows that I am in super-duper love with my cuddly cute techie and that's it. Example two - Oh wait, there is no example two, because you slept with Reid!"

JJ lowers her eyes. "I didn't mean to."

Garcia snorts. "Really? Did you just say that to me, Jayje?"

"Okay! I made a choice to, yes, but…you don't understand. He came to my office and he kissed me and he was such a good kisser…and then I went over there to tell him we couldn't do anything, because…" She pauses.

"You have a boyfriend and a son and a house and -

"Yes! Because of Will and Henry! And we kissed again and then we were okay, we were going to stop, but then…I thought I was going to lose him, Pen."

"So you slept with him?"

"No! Of course not!" She says, frustrated, standing up. "I had realized what a mistake I had done, just kissing him, and I felt so bad and then he looked at me and he tried to make me feel better and.." She sighs. "I don't know."

Garcia stares at her. "Uh uh! You do know. Sit."

JJ sighs again and sits back down. "I was crying and he… I don't know. He said he would never hurt me."

"So you slept with him? I'm confused here, Jayje."

"He has always been there, Pen. Always. Just everything came to me in that moment. Our date, where he was a total gentleman and totally amazing. After Hankel, when he asked me if I was okay and then, on his bad foot and everything, cooked me dinner because there was a dog barking outside the kitchen window and I couldn't go in there. After when you got hurt, how he was the one to help me get over killing someone - because it affected me more than I ever let on and he just…knew. He's always been there, always trying to make me feel better and when he said those words… I knew that he was telling the truth. I knew that he meant it because he's already proving it…and I don't know…it just… it just changed everything." She rests her chin on her hand before rubbing her forehead. "And now I have to tell Will…and Henry's going to lose his father and that's my fault, but… I've been going through this in my head for the last 4 hours, and… I can't make myself regret it. What does that make me?"

Garcia leans back in her chair. "In love with your best friend."

JJ raises her eyes to the woman, quickly. "No. No. I'm not in…"

"Garcia, I think I broke it." Spencer says, walking into the office. "It won't…" He looks up to see JJ and smiles. "uh…"

"It won't what, loverboy?"

He tears his eyes away from the blond to look at the Garcia. He blushes immediately when he sees the look on her face. He licks his lips, looking back at JJ.

"N-never mind, I'll go ask …Emily." He glances back at JJ, smiling shyly, before he leaves.

Garcia laughs as the door closes again. "Well that was adorable."

"What?"

"You didn't just see that? He forgot his words because he saw you!"

JJ blushes. "No, he didn't."

"He couldn't stop looking at you, either! And that smile before he left. He's in love with you too! Okay, I take it back, this is awesome!"


	18. Chapter 18

"JJ!" Derek calls out as she pauses, turning back to the group. She was trying to get out of the office before having to spend time in the bullpen, knowing that it would be awkward. She breathes out before moving back to the bullpen to see the group.

"Hey guys." She smiles, facing away from Spencer, who she noticed was trying his best to stay busy.

"I'm having a barbecue on Saturday, you know if we don't have a case. You and Will should bring Henry. I'm trying to get Hotch to bring Jack, so he'll have someone to play with."

JJ smiles. "I'd love to come. I don't know if Will could make it, he usually sleeps until 4 now, but maybe. We'll see."

"You need to come." Emily tells her. "It's been too long."

JJ laughs, "We just had dinner together last week, guys."

"Too long!" Derek says and hugs her. She wraps his arms around her before she pulls back, looking at Spencer.

"Are you going to be there? Henry's been asking about you."

Spencer looks up briefly. "Yeah… yeah, I'll be there."

She smiles at him, the two sharing a look. She clears her throat. "Actually, uh.. I have something for you from him in the car….if you want to come get it?"

He looks confused, but nods. "Yeah…sure. I'll be right back, guys."

"What about me? Henry doesn't make me anything?" Derek gives a playful pout and she rolls her eyes at him.

"I'll make sure to tell him that you want something."

He grins. "Good! See you this Saturday, JJ."

JJ waves before moving towards the elevator, Spencer follows. They don't speak until she's standing near the car. Spencer shuffles, nervously.

"You said you-"

She reaches out and tugs him forward kissing him. He responds to the kiss immediately, his arms wrapping around her waist. She pulls back, leaning against him.

"You told Garcia?" He murmurs, his hands moving up under her shirt, to lay flat against her skin.

"And Brandi." She says, brushing her nose against his, nuzzling against him. He kisses her briefly.

"Is that safe?" His lips brush against against her jaw.

"Yeah, Brandi and I are-" Her words turned into swallowed into a gasp as his lips move from her jaw to her neck and he sucks. "Spence!"

"You and Brandi are what?" He continues to stay close and she feels every word he says.

"Close. W-we're close." She tugs his face up to kiss him, roughly. He pushes her against the car before she realizes what exactly they're doing. She presses his hands to her chest and pushes him back a little.

"They're going to get suspicious if you stay down here much longer." Her hands move against his tie, straightening it before tugging him closer by it. He kisses her again before he pulls away.

"Right…Do you…" He frowns. "Can I see you tonight?"

She nuzzles into his neck. "Have you been to the doctor?"

"My appointment's tomorrow." He kisses her shoulder as her fingers brush through her hair.

"Have they been getting worse?"

He merely nods and she frowns before raising her face to kiss his temple. "You come over as you soon as you get your results, alright?"

He nods before stepping away from her. She ruffles his hair with a smile. "Alright, Spence. I'll see you later."

"Tonight?" He asks again and she bites at her bottom lip, seeing the hopeful look in his eyes. She breathes out and pulls him into another kiss. "Tonight." She murmurs against his lips and he smiles until he moves back away and starts upstairs.

**Criminal Minds || Life**

"Mommy!" Henry screams as she walks inside the house. He jumps into her arms. "Mist you!"

"You missed me, huh?"

He nods, enthusiastically. "I painted!"

"You painted? Did you make me a picture?"

He nodded. "I made you pisure! Daddy pisure! Aunt Penny a pisure!"

"You didn't make Spencer a picture?"

"Branni made Penner pisure." He looks around before he leans in close. "Branni wuv Penner, Mommy."

She grins, looking back at Brandi who blushes. "She does, huh?"

"Yeah. He cute!"

She chuckles. "He's cute, huh?"

"Yeah. You fink he cute, Mommy?"

She looks at Brandi, who raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Momma, you think Spencer's cute?"

Henry turns around to see Will, smirking. JJ smiles at him as he comes towards her.

"He's cute, but he's got nothing on your Daddy."

"Good answer." Will chuckles before he kisses her. "How was your day?"

She shrugs, handing him his son. "It was okay." She says, making her way back to the kitchen. Her day had been spent thinking about what Garcia had said and how Spencer had been so affectionate in the parking garage. It had been like a damn had burst and they couldn't keep their hands off of each other if they were in close distance of each other for long enough. She had promised to see him again tonight. Was she actually going to do that? Was she really going to make her one-night mistake into a full-fledged affair? She couldn't do that… could she? She hadn't even really thought about it before agreeing to it, but he had been right there, his scent surrounding her, pouty lips and messy hair - caused somewhat from her fingers running through it as those amazing lips brushed against-

She jumps when arms wrap around her. "What are you gonna' make?"

She looks down at the empty pan. "Uh… Chicken?"

"Mmh." Will kisses her neck and she tenses. It's so much different from Spencer. She leans into his touch.

"You need to shave." She murmurs, hoping it's a good enough explanation for why she reacted that way.

He chuckles and pulls his face away. "I thought you liked a little scruff."

She turns and leans against the stove, which she still has yet to turn off, too busy daydreaming.

"A little scruff, not a beard." She scratches at the underside of his chin.

He smiles. "Alright. I'll shave before work tonight." He kisses her forehead.

"Do you want me to help with dinner?"

She shakes her head, wanting to continue to think her situation. She kisses him. "Go play with Henry."

"Yes, ma'am."

She watches as he moves back into the living room. He was such a good man and here she was, thinking about leaving tonight to go spend time with Spencer. How the hell had she gotten here and how could she stop it?

**Criminal Minds || Life**

Brandi sits on the bed, watching the older woman.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" She asks.

JJ looks at her through the mirror. "You think I'm horrible don't you?"

Brandi lowers her eyes. "I'm not judging."

JJ turns to look at the woman. "Judge. I want to know what you think."

Brandi raises her eyes back. "I think…."

JJ waits for a moment. "What? What do you think?"

"I think I want to keep my job so I'm not going to say what I think." Brandi murmurs quickly, looking at her fingernails.

JJ sighs and sits down on the bed. "That bad, huh?"

"Mr. Will is a nice guy, Ms. JJ…I guess I just don't understand."

JJ nods. "Right, you're right. This is so wrong. I can't do this."

She stands up and grabs her phone off the counter, turning back to Brandi.

"I'm going to call him and tell him I can't come over. And…. I'll just not go to the cookout at Derek's. I'll just separate from him and it'll be fine."

Brandi watches her, silently, so JJ turns her attention back to her phone, dialing the man to cancel. It rings twice before he answers.

"Hey you."

She smiles. "Hey, Spence…how are you?" She looks back at Brandi before turning away from the woman, feeling her judging her.

"I'm okay…are you…" He pauses. "I can't wait to see you."

Her jaw clenches as his voice lowers. She wants to groan. "Oh? About that..." She starts before she looks back at Brandi, who is watching her.

"I'm running a little late. I'll be there soon." She finishes it softly before hanging up. She doesn't want to turn around to see the look Brandi's giving her. When she finally does, she's shocked to see Brandi smiling at her.

"You're like fifteen!" She teases.

"I am not!"

"You are! You love him! Like… butterflies in the stomach, makes you feel silly love!"

JJ stares at her. "You sound like you're fifteen! Love like that doesn't exist."

Brandi cocks an eyebrow. "Not with Mr. Will, but…maybe that's why you're having an affair with Dr. Reid."

JJ bites at her bottom lip. "I'm not a bad person, Brandi" She tries to convince them both.

Brandi shrugs. "Ghandi said 'it is any day better to stand erect with a broken and bandaged head then to crawl on one's belly, in order to be able to save one's head.'"

JJ stares at her. She sounds like Reid. "What?"

Brandi stands up. "I mean.. you should fight for what makes you feel better, no matter the damage that can be caused, rather than live your life in a way that you'd never truly be happy….right?"

"So you're telling me I should go?"

Brandi shrugs, walking to the door. "I'm just saying you should do what you feel right."

JJ stares at her. "You know, you are no help."

Brandi waves before moving out of the door, leaving JJ with her thoughts.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Notes: Just want to thank all of you readers for the continued support for the story. You guys are awesome and I appreciate every alert and review you guys give! And I want to remind you that I am also updating another story regularly at this point that you should check out if you would like. It's called Breaking the Cycle and is a Morgan/Elle story (with some Elle/Reid!). Thank you again, so much for everything and I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

JJ knocks once and waits. It doesn't take Spencer long to answer and he gives her the same shy smile from the office. She returns it, her stomach muscles tightening. She pushes Brandi's words out of her head. The reason she was acting like this because she knew it was wrong, not because Spencer made her feel like this.

"Hey." He says, softly, moving to the side to let her in.

She steps inside, letting him close the door. "Hey."

He lingers for a moment before he leans over to touch her face and kiss her. It's soft, unlike the hard, needy kisses earlier. Her hands find his shirt, tugging him closer as he pulls back. She smiles as his eyes open to look at her.

"Hey." He repeats, thumb brushing against her cheek before running over her bottom lip. She kisses his finger. Okay, maybe Brandi had a point. The way he was looking at her was driving her crazy and it had nothing to do with lust.

"Hey." She says again and he chuckles before he moves his hand. She frowns a little as he steps back too.

"Do you…want a drink or something?"

She tugs him back. "No, I'm good."

He smiles and kisses her again before he grabs her hands and pulls her to the couch. She smirks and pushes him against the couch until settling on his lap. He watches her, hands moving to her hips, fingers brushing against her sides. "Should we talk about…I don't know, this?"

She looks down at him. "What do you want to talk about, Spence?" She leans over and kisses his neck, his fingers curling around her hips. He turns his head to kiss her lips, a battle of will slightly occurring. She grunts when he tugs back.

"Are you going to tell Will?"

She leans back on his legs at the mentioning of her boyfriend. "Do you want me to tell Will?"

He frowns. "I…" He closes his mouth, thinking about it. "It's not my choice, JJ. Whatever you decide is best."

"So that's a yes? A No?"

He shrugs, his fingers making shapes against her hip. "I just want to know what you're planning to do." He looks up at her. "Are we just…."

She bites at her lip before she leans into kiss him. He responds gently before he pulls back, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes still closed. "I can be your secret, I just need to know if that's what we're doing."

She pulls back, looking at him. His words shake her. He was willing to continue this as it was. "Why?" She asks, softly. "You deserve more than that, Spence."

He opens his eyes, half smile on his lips. "I might have been a little intoxicated, but I meant what I said, JJ. When you find the right woman, why should anything keep you apart? Am I nervous for Will to find out and assault me? of course, but whatever happens will be worth it."

She looks at him. "And what about Henry?"

He looks down at her legs. "I've been thinking about Henry a lot, lately." He licks his lips. "And I don't want him to lose his father and I mean, you know Will better than I do…would-would he… He wouldn't abandon Henry would he?"

She shakes her head. She wasn't talking about that. "I mean, Spence… I'm a packaged deal."

"Oh. Oh! Uh…" He licks his lips. He raises his eyes. "Wait…What do you mean?"

She looks at him. "Say we continue this…and Will finds out and he leaves…do.. Would you…step up?"

"Be his father?" He gulps and she holds her breath, wondering if she's asking too much. How had the conversation even get here? They had just had sex once and it wasn't like she even knew what her feelings really were for Spencer. And here they were, talking about the future like they were going to end up together, but that was all Spencer. He had told her that she the one or something, so… she had to ask those questions, but what if Spencer wasn't her true love or whatever the hell fairytale nonsense they were talking about. She didn't believe in The One and all this. She was rational…but rational women didn't cheat, now did they? A rational woman would be content with a good relationship, a happy family and a nice house. She was not rational at all. She was living in a dream world, having sex with Spencer and his nice face and pretty words. What the hell was she doing?

"I would." He interrupts her thoughts and she looks back at him. "I-I don't know how good I'd be at it… or if… I mean, I would never try to take Will's place, but if we…if this… I'd do my best."  
She breathes out, staring at him, feeling unable to complete another complete thought. He locks eyes with her, looking for an answer. She shakes her head, getting up. She wasn't expecting that. She wasn't expecting any of this. This was too much. This way too much.

"What happened to you not wanting to break up his family? You told Garcia that Henry deserves to have his mother and his father happy together."

He looks confused. "But you are happy with Will?"

She swallows with a little difficulty. "I…That's not important right now!"

He stands up and walks towards her, slowly, hesitant. "JJ, I.. All I want is for you to be happy. Whether it's with Will or us doing…this… That's all I want."

"But you kissed me! You came to my work and you kissed me!"

"Because I thought that's what you wanted. You almost kissed me after dinner and then you came to my place asking if I meant it…I…"

"You wanted to kiss me too! Don't deny that, Spence."

"Of course I did! I've wanted to kiss you since that football game, but you wanted to be friends, so we were friends. And I've been trying to be the best friend I could be and then you… something changed and you seemed… you tried to kiss me and I couldn't… I couldn't not think about it, so I came to your office and I kissed you, but you kissed me back. And then you came over and….I… Yes, I want this. I have wanted you for years and -"

She grabs his shirt and pulls him into a steamy kiss. He pulls back, slightly.

"JJ, I-"

"Shut up, Spencer." She mutters and kisses him hard on the mouth, this time he doesn't object.

Criminal Minds || Life

She shifts, feeling something touching her. She pushes it away before turning to her side, pushing back into the hard body behind her. She feels lips against her shoulder and hums, waking up to realize she's in bed with Spencer.

"What time is it?" She asks, groggy. She doesn't dare to open her eyes just yet.

"Almost five."

She groans and pushes into him some more. She feels his lips curl into a smile as he kisses up her shoulder to her neck.

"You smell good." He murmurs and she feels his hand move over her hip. It's the same touch she had pushed away seconds ago, but now it just feels nice. She rests her head back on his shoulder and moans when he immediately takes advantage on the move. Her arm moves behind her, clutching at his hair. His hand moves up her side and she gasps when it reaches sensitive flesh.

"Stop," She mutters. "I have to get home soon and if you keep doing things like that, I'm never going to leave."

He nips at her neck in what feels like a challenge to her and she chuckles. She grabs his hand and brings up to her lips, kissing his fingers. "I have to go, Spence."

She drops his hand before turning around to face him. His eyes are closed. "Can't you stay a little longer?"

She leans in and kisses his nose. "I wish I could."

He opens his eyes slow and winces at the light. She frowns. "Your head's hurting?"

He shakes it off, blinking a few times, but he can't hide the pain. "Spence, don't lie to me."

"It comes and it goes. It'll go away."

"How long has it been hurting this time?"

"Since Tuesday?"

"Spence! That's two days. Did it hurt last night?"

He shakes his head. "It comes and it goes."

She pouts, raising her fingers to rub his temples. He hums in appreciation.

"When's your appointment?" She murmurs.

"Seven." He leans over her to grab the thick sunglasses from the nightstand.

"…Do you want me to go with you?" She watches him as he slides them up his nose. If he wasn't in so much pain, she'd tease him about wearing only sunglasses and boxer briefs.

He shakes his head. "No. I'll be fine."

She keeps her eyes on him a little longer before she sighs. "Alright, but if you need me, you call me, you understand?"

He gives her a weak smile. "I understand."

Still, she frowns. She feels useless. She leans in and kisses him. "I'm making you breakfast before I go though. It's probably just all that caffeine and no nutrition." 


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Notes: **After finding out that AJ COOK got a new 2 year contract with CM, I WAS going to knock out a magnitude of Life chapters for y'all, but... my cat ran away yesterday and I spent the day looking for the little jerk. Found him, he's all safe and sound now. and Today was spent taking him and my other cat back home because my apartment is having routine checks (and I live in a no-pets-allowed!) apartment complex. :P Anyways, here's a chapter and I hope you enjoy it. It's a short one. Oh and hey! Check out Breaking the Cycle, if you haven't already! (I know, I know. I advertise it a lot, but pfft. I love it!)

* * *

JJ taps her foot, impatiently, waiting for Spencer to call her to at least the doctor had told him anything. It was almost two and still, no word. She looks back at the clock before grabbing her phone and calling Garcia.

"You've reached the fountain of knowledge; ask and you shall receive."

"Penelope, is the team out?"

"They sure are, my sweet. Lookin' your BAU boy?"

JJ makes a face. "He's not my boy."

"Uh huh."

"Penelope…"

"Hey, I'm not judging. Although, I will give you my two cents! If you're not happy, then you're not happy, but cheating is wrong, even if it is with my favorite cute genius. But hey, my chocolate lover is calling so TTFN!"

"Penelope?" She asks, but the woman had already hung up. She hangs up the phone before looking at the pictures on her desk. There were two. One of Henry and his father, asleep on the couch, sharing the same expression. She loved the picture; her two boys. The other was Spencer and Garcia with Henry a couple months ago. Henry was a mess after eating something nice and sticky. His cheeks were pressed against Spencer's and Garcia's and all three were giving their best "Cheese!" smiles. Well… Penelope and Henry were. Spencer's was a little tense, knowing that the syrupy mess was being squished against him too. Still, he was trying to at least give the best smile he could. Will would always have that easy bond with Henry. Henry was born Will's son and they would share the DNA and that bond. But Spencer's bond was because he wanted it. His words echo in his head. He'd do his best to be whatever Henry needed. No matter how sticky the decision was. She knew that he'd be there, would Will? Would Will continue to work on that bond if everything got messy? She breathed through her nose. How had she gotten here?

Criminal Minds || Life

"Mommy!"

JJ kneels to pick up the little boy. She smiles at him as his hair falls into his face. She pushes it out of his face.

"Buddy, are you ready for a haircut?"

He frowns. "You cut my hair?" His eyes widen at the thought.

She smirks. "We don't have to."

"I like Penner!"

"You look like Pen- Spencer?"

He nods, his blonde wavy hair falling back in his face. She smirks. "Spencer cut his hair though, buddy?"

He makes a face. "I no like it."

She laughs. "You don't like Spencer's hair cut?"

He continues to make his messy face and shakes his head. She laughs again, before setting him down.

"But if we cut your hair, you can look like Daddy."

He thinks about it before shaking his head. "I no cut."

She ruffles his hair. "Alright buddy. You really like Spencer, huh?"

"He my utter daddy!"

She sits. "What?"

"Utter daddy! And Aunt Penny my utter mommy!"

"Ohh. He's your godfather, yeah."

"I wuv Penner. He teash me."

She smiles. "He does teach you. You know, that he loves you too right? Spencer doesn't say it as much as  
Aunt Penny or Mommy or Daddy, but he loves you a whole bunch."

He smiles. "Penner wuv me. He read me night-night stowie."

"Uh huh."

Henry's fingers go into his mouth as he thinks. "Can Penner come see me night?"

"Spencer's fighting the bad guys tonight, buddy, but maybe he can come over when he gets home."

"Call him?" He asks around his fingers.

She smiles. "Sure, buddy." She grabs the phone and dials Spencer's cell. It rings and rings until going to voicemail. She frowns before handing the phone to him.

"Say hi."

"Hi Penner!….Penner?…Penner?…Mommy not there."

"He's working, tell him to be safe."

"Be save, Penner! You come see me?… Penner? Mommy! Not there!"

She laughs. "Tell him bye."

He sighs, frustrated. "Bye, Penner. Wuv you….. Penner? Mommy!"

She closes the phone and kisses him. "I love you, little man."  
He's still pouting as she ruffles his hair.

"You want to help me with dinner?"

"We have maggyroni?"

"Macaroni?"

"And cweeese!"

She laughs. "Sure, buddy. And Hot dogs."

Henry's eyes widen in glee.

Criminal Minds || Life

She gets Spencer's voicemail again and frowns. It's not normal of him not to return her calls. Then again, she didn't really call him much when he worked. She hangs up before Will comes behind her.

"Hey babe….everything okay?"

She gives her best smile. "Yeah. Just worried about the team."

"I'm sure they're fine."

She breathes out and leans against him. "Will?"

He kisses her shoulder. "Mmhmm."

"You'd never… if we…."

He looks up at her.

"Promise me that whatever happens with us, that you're not…"

She looks the look of confusion in his eyes and she turns to face him. She kisses him.

"I just want to make sure that whatever happens with us, you're going to be there for Henry."

He stares at her, confused. "Of course, cherie. What's this about?"

She runs her fingers over her chest. "I don't know, I was just thinking about how we were fighting so much and… if something happened and we had broken up, if…"

He raises her chin to look him straight in the eye. "Nothing's going to happen to us. You're worth the fight, JJ, so you don't even have to worry about that."

She smiles at him and kisses him. "I know," She says, softly. "But if we do… you won't just leave him, right?"

"No. Never. He's my son, JJ. I'd never leave my son. Ever."  
She smiles and wraps her around his neck and pulls him close. His arms wrap around her tight before he pulls back and kisses her.

"I have to get to work. We'll talk more when I get home…when you get home."

She nods, holding onto him. He was a good man. He was such a good man and she was messing around on him. She felt so bad. She nuzzles into his neck, breathing him in. He chuckles a little, pulling away from her again.

"I'll see you at five." he murmurs and kisses her. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's notes:** Has Spencer mentioned when his headaches started in this story? I looked and couldn't find it. but if he did, then shoot me a review and I'll fix it. :)

I have to mention that you guys have been amazing! I love all of your reviews and I try my best to send you guys some replies back. If you haven't gotten one, review me again and yell at me and I'll send you a personal thank you :P. This story has got much more recognition by y'all than I expected. You guys are awesome. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Penelope calls her to tell her the team is home and safe. That Reid went into another situation without his vest. She's furious with him, risking his life. She's even more upset that he hadn't called Henry or her or came over like he usually did after a case. And then, she starts to worry when a day goes by and he still hasn't returned her calls. She makes her way over to his house after Will heads into work. She knocks and he doesn't answer at first, so she knocks again. This time he answers, but moves back to his kitchen table, which is covered in books. She frowns, following him.

"Is everything okay, Spence?" She asks, softly, a little nervous. He's almost frantic in his movements as he studies the literature.

He doesn't answer, looking through another book. She watches him before reaching out to touch him. He tenses immediately, but stops. His hands move to his head, massaging his forehead before pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He sits like that for what seems like forever. She's going crazy with worry.

"Doctor said it was psychosomatic, but I'm not crazy, JJ. I'm not crazy." He pulls his hands away, shaking his head. He doesn't look at her. "I'm not crazy."

She bites on her lip as she watches him. He's looking a little crazy, but she knows his history. She knows about his mother and her disease. "Spence…"

"I'm not crazy! There's something wrong with me! And they can't find it. I have… I have to find it. Brain disorder or… something that wouldn't show up on an MRI."

He reaches out to grab another book and she grabs his hand. "Spencer. This isn't a bad thing."

He tugs his hand away. "They can't find what's wrong with me, JJ. This is very-"

"What does psychosomatic mean?"

"I'm not c-"

"I'm not asking you that. I'm asking what does psychosomatic mean?"

He sighs. "A psychosomatic disease means it involves the mind along with the body. That it orginates with emotional stress or damaging thought-patterns and results in psychical pain."

"And when did they start?"

He makes a face. "I started getting minor headaches after Haley's death and they've increased since. A lot worse since summer."

"And you don't think that that had anything to do with it? Losing Haley, the Reaper, all that was crazy. Everyone was affected by that."

"I just feel like I could have done more. Like what are we doing this job for if we can't keep each other safe… and we lost you and…" He sighs.

She frowns, moving some of the books to sit on the table in front of him. "Hey, look at me."

She grabs his chin, raising it gently. "You haven't lost me, Spence. I'm right here."

"It's been so hard without you, JJ. Penelope does a lot and… Hotch and Rossi handle the press, but.. No one knows how to handle the families like you… No one helps me in the departments anymore. You were such… I miss you. You always made things better, easier."

She frowns, scooting more in front of him, moving her hands to his head, rubbing his temples as he hangs his head.

"I just want them to stop. I just want it to stop hurting."

She raises his head again to kiss his lips. He pulls back for a moment to look at her before he stands, moving between her legs. He kisses her again alittle more aggressively. She makes a noise of surprise against his lips as he grabs at her, pulling her closer. She hadn't expected them to do anything, his head pounding, emotions running hard and now, he was kissing her like she was the only thing keeping him stable - which she might be at the moment. She kisses him back before pulling back. They shouldn't do this right now. He was in pain, emotionally and physically.

"Spence… we…" She gasps as his lips move against her neck, his hands moving under her shirt. "Spence, your head."

"Doesn't hurt." He grunts against her neck.

"I know, oh god.. You-You just said it did."

"No." He mutters his hand's moving to her pants.

"Spence, stop." She pushes him back and he pulls back and stares at her, listening for the moment.

"I don't…" She pauses. That was a lie. She did want him. "We… I came to check on you, not to… I was worried about you."

"I'm fine." He steps towards her and she presses her hands against his chest.

"I know you're not." She says, softly and he breathes out slow through his nose, frustrated. He leans his forehead against hers.

"Can't we just pretend that I am?"

She leans into place a chaste kiss on his lips. "No, we can't."

"I don't want you to go."

"I don't have to." She says, softly before she pulls back to look at him. She runs her fingers over cheek.

"Go lay down. I'll get some aspirin and a cup of tea and we'll… I don't know. I'll read you a book."

He smiles at her. "You'll read me a book?"

She laughs. "Yes, you have a problem with that?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all."

**Criminal Minds || Life**

She closes the worn book as she looks down at the man that lays snuggled into her chest. He had picked a book that she had never read in her life, but he told her that it was one of his mother's. In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust. She read it not really understanding much of what was happening, but it calmed him, made him comfortable. She knew it was kind of strange, reading to her lover like she read to her son, but… it was also very intimate. His mother had read to him the exact book and he trusted her to have that book in her hands and read to him as well. Spencer didn't need anyone to read to him; he could read the whole book in a minute, but he laid there, listening to every word as she read them slowly. Maybe she was reading into something way too much. Maybe it was just a little creepy, but she didn't care. The man wasn't freaking out about his headaches which were probably just the result of stress. He wasn't fighting to stay awake because of nightmares about the job. He was calm, breathing slow, holding her close. He was at peace for the moment and if that meant reading to him so he could get that peace, she would do it again in an instant. She brushes her fingers through his hair.

"Jay?" He murmurs, arm tightening around her.

"Mmhmm?" She says, softly. His eyes haven't opened, his body still relaxed.

" 'n you stay all night?" He murmurs, nuzzling into her as he shifts to get more comfortable.

"I have to leave by six, but I can stay 'til then."

He hums, acknowledging her words. He nuzzles again before raising his face to brush his lips against any skin he can reach before burying his face back into her.

"Good."

She smiles. "Go back to sleep, Spence."

He hums again before getting silent again. Her fingers start brushing through his hair again.

"Jay?" His voice is thicker, less defined. He's almost asleep again.

"Mmhmm?" She says, softly.

"'ove you."

Her throat tightens, her fingers stop in his hair. "I..what?" She says after minutes of trying to force herself to breathe and think.

He doesn't say anything, his breathing slowed. She swallows, difficulty.

No. He didn't just say what she thought he said. He said something about a view. Yeah, that was it. He was laying on her chest, maybe he was just making a smart comment, like 'nice view' or something ridiculous like that. Okay, Spencer wasn't like that, but Spencer wasn't one to admit love either! Spencer Reid didn't even believe in love like that. But then again, he had said that she was the right woman. And if she was the right woman, then… it wasn't like he didn't love her, right? No. He had been drunk when he said that and even though he had said he did mean it, he might not have. He could had just been trying to get in her pants. People in her past had said far more ridiculous things trying to do the same thing. Hell, people had told her that they loved her to get into her pants. But Spencer was fast asleep, he wasn't trying to do anything. It was a statement. A very powerful statement. One he couldn't tell her! It wasn't right. They were just fooling around. She had a boyfriend! That she told "I love you" to everyday! That she'd get home and tell him again. She couldn't love two people at once! Two people couldn't love her at once. She gulps. Oh god, this was bad. This was bad. This was so bad.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Notes: **So, after last chapter, I had two different scenarios about where to go next. One was this way, and the other was... well, in a different direction. This way won out. And I apologize in advance for the cliffhanger. It's just how it worked out. (Okay, okay, so I really did plan it like that. But... come on! Cliff hangers are fun!)

* * *

She doesn't see Spencer again until Morgan's cookout. She doesn't know what to say and rather than facing the issue, she ignores it. It's the best she can do at the moment. If she goes to talk with him and he says it again, she doesn't know what to say, so… she doesn't put herself in that situation. Not yet. Not until she figures out what to do. Well, until Morgan's cookout, but did that really count anyways? She would surrounded by the team. She and Spencer couldn't talk about that with them and the kids running around. She sets down the little boy, who seems to have a Spencer-tracker and immediately spots him.

"PENNNNNNNNNNER!" Henry screams as he runs towards the man.

Spencer kneels to pick up the little boy, but Henry has other plans. "Roar!" He roars and playfully attacks the man, causing him to stumble and fall onto his backside. Henry jumps in his lap. "I eat you!"

"You got me, little man." She hears Spencer say. "How are-"

She watches at Spencer smile at the little boy, before Henry's eyes widen in realization and he interrupts.

"You not call me! I call you! You no see me!" Henry pouts, angry and sad and adorable.

"I know, buddy, I was working." Spencer tries.

JJ turns to see what everyone else is doing. No one seems to be watching them. She

turned her attention back to the two.

"You get the bad guys?" Henry stops pouting and JJ's surprised how easy he let Spencer get off.

"Yeah, we got him." Spencer ruffles his hand through his hair. "You need a haircut, buddy."

Henry makes the same sour face he had made when she suggested it. "Noo. I like you!"

Spencer raises his eyes to her before they fall back to the little boy. "Yeah?" His voice is softer, surprised.

Henry nods, blond curls bouncing. "Yeah! I like you!" Henry begins to babble about all the other things that he and Spencer share, she only understands a few words like "genius" and "cute".

She watches Spencer. He doesn't seem to know what to say. Henry tilts his head, mid ramble, noticing Spencer's change in demeanor.. "You okay, Penner?"

Spencer nods before he clears his throat. "Yeah… yeah, I'm okay. Can I… Can I have a hug?"

JJ smiles as Henry throws himself at Spencer who wraps his arms around the little boy.

Criminal Minds || Life

She keeps an eye on Spencer and Henry as they play with Jack, making sure that he's okay. She knows he'll be safe with Spencer, but still, he's her son and she worries. Just because he has a bigger vocabulary doesn't change the fact that he's only two and Jack's six, almost seven.

"If you keep staring at him, someone's going to start to wonder if you have a crush." Penelope teases and JJ turns to face her.

"I'm watching Henry. Jack's so much taller than him."

Garcia laughs. "Spencer's taking care of them. He'd be a good dad, huh?"

JJ outright stares at the woman. "You know who'd be a good dad. Kevin." She challenges and Garcia grins.

"Oh, don't you worry about that. We got that all covered." She winks and JJ shakes her head, unable to win against the techie. The two women watch as Derek joins the boys playing. She sighs.

"I think Henry shocked him today. He told him that he wanted to be like Spencer."

"And not Will?"

JJ glances at Penelope. She had a point. Henry always wanted to be like Spencer. Why was that? Will was his father and Henry loved him. When Henry had bad dreams, he always wanted his daddy over her. But why did he want to be more like Spencer than Will?"

"Yeah, I don't know. Spencer's always been a little distant with Henry, I don't know why he wants to be so much like him over his dad."

Garcia shrugs. "I don't know. I bet Reid could probably psychoanalyze that for you though." She winks.

"He loves me." She blurts out and Garcia goes from playful to shocked to greatly amused in the matter of 10 seconds.

"He what? Oh my god!"

JJ hushes her, looking around. "He told me he loved me, but he was asleep and I- I don't know! It's strange! Is it not strange?"

"What's not strange?" Ashley says as she grabs herself a soda. Garcia, still giggling with glee, speaks first.

"Spencer playing with the kids. It's strange isn't it?"

Ashley looks between the two before over at Reid. "I guess, I heard Derek say something about the Reid Effect around kids?"

"And dogs!" Garcia pips up. "But not with Henry. I wonder why. Guess he just _loves _him! LOVES!" She squeals again and JJ feels nauseous. Garcia might be excited, but it was a bigger thing that she was letting it on. If Spencer really did love her, everything could change.

Criminal Minds || Life

It's getting late and Henry's zonked out when JJ decides to leave. Spencer helps her to the car, holding the sleeping boy against his chest. He puts him in the car seat before lingering by the car.

"It was good to see you today."

She smiles. "I wonder where Emily was."

Spencer looks around as if he's searching for the woman who had been missing all day from the event. He shrugs. "I don't know. She's being acting a little strange lately."

She nods. It seems everyone was acting a little strange. She was having an affair. Spencer was admitting love. Emily was gone. She looks at her shoes. "About…what you said, Spence…"

"What'd I say?"

She looks up, seeing the look of confusion. God, maybe he didn't remember. Maybe he didn't really mean it at all. She licks her lips. "You don't remember?" She asks, hopefully.

He makes a face, concentrating on trying to remember anything before he shrugs again. "When? Today? I said a lot of things today. My memory's good and I can recall most of what I said, but.. I mean, only remember everything I read." He jokes before looking at her concerned. "Should I remember this? Was it about Henry?"

She shakes her head. "No.. no. It's… nothing. Don't worry about it. I should get home. Will's not working tonight and… you know."

He looks like he doesn't know, but doesn't say anything. "Alright. Good night."

She leans into him before she realizes that she can't really lean up and kiss him. She pulls back away before moving to the driver's side of the car. She opens the door, looking back at him.

"JJ, wait."

She pauses and he moves towards her again.

"I… I need to talk to you about something."

She nods, unsure.

His hand moves to the back of his scalp, fidgetting. He looks nervous.

"I, uh.. I don't know how to say it, though.. So you'll.. I mean, I…"

"It's fine, Spence. We.. We can talk later. Tomorrow."

He licks his lips. "No. I.. I want to talk about it now."

She closes the door before leaning against it. "Alright."

"I…uh…. I want you to tell Will."


	23. Chapter 23

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Alright, kids. I have atleast FOUR papers due before Monday, SO (unless I procrastinate until the last minute.) I will not be posting any chapters until then. I wasn't even going to post this one because I had a long day today (Had my poems work-shopped today, had to get my kitties an hour away,and I STILL need to put together the new automatic litter box-thing) and tomorrow I have to do a paper and then Friday, I have to go to a poetry/fiction reading and then write another paper. and then write another paper on something I don't even know yet, but it has to be SOMETHING about victims. and then I have to write a personality paper about Maybe, maybe Dr. Spencer Reid! lol. Oh! and then I have to revise 3 other papers! Busy weekend, but enough about me. Main point? There probably will not be an update until Tuesday (unless I get annoyed with creative writing, victimology or psychology.) Enjoy.

* * *

She stares at him for a moment. She couldn't have heard what she just heard. Spencer would never ask her that. "What?"

He loses some of his nerve. His hands fidget before they push into his pockets. "I want you to, uh… I think that it…. I want Will to know."

"Why?" She asks, before she can stop herself. If he didn't remember telling her he loved her, then.. Nothing had changed. They were still having fun. They were just having fun. She looks at him, waiting.

"Because… I…." He pauses, looking around. They're still in front of Derek's house. The man could come out. Penelope and Kevin could leave and see them. This was so not the place to have this talk.

"I love you." He says, raising his eyes. He gives somewhat of a smile, although weak.

This was definitely not the place to have this conversation. She pushes up against the car even more, trying to keep herself from falling over. This time he had definitely said it. There was no denying it now. Spencer Reid loved her. "You…."

He swallows strangely, eyes locked onto hers, before he nods. "I do. I love you. I love Henry…and… if you…" He pales a little. "If-if-if…" He pauses, clenching his jaw. "If you love me too, then maybe we could make this work." His words hold more confidence. His voice doesn't waiver. She can see the muscles in his arms tighten, his hands are clenched.

She just stares at him, not knowing what to say. She hadn't even thought about loving him. Of course, she loved him, but… was she in love with him? God, she felt thirteen, trying to figure out if she liked a boy enough to kiss him. She was in love with Will…..or was she? Would it be easier to tell if she was in love with Spencer? Would she be able to see that one was better than the other? Would one make her feel differently? Spencer did make her feel different, but did that mean she was in love with Spencer and not in love with Will? Could someone be in love with two different people? And if she did tell Spencer she loved him or at the very least agreed to tell Will, would she lose Will? Was she ready to lose Will? She had tried for so long to make it work with Will. She had tried so hard to continue to do the right thing for Henry. Wouldn't leaving him take all that away. What would be the use of all the hard work if she just ran away with Will. Would that matter? Could she and Spencer be a family? Could Spencer handle being a bigger influence in Henry's life? Being around him more often, being close with him, telling him he loved him and doing things a parent would do (even though Spencer would never be his parent?) Or would he?

"You…uh, you don't have to make any decisions tonight." Spencer says, breaking her thoughts. She looks back at him. He looks a little uncertain, but more relaxed. As if he wants her to push off the decision. Maybe he's just as nervous about all this like her. He had to be. He had to know what he was asking her to do. "I just… he wants to be like me."

She watches him. His words are soft and thick with an emotion, like realization or something more? Henry's words had struck something in Spencer and it was strange to see. Not even weeks ago, Spencer was afraid to get close because he knew what it was like to lose a father and now, he was asking for her to leave Henry's father? For him? It was insane. This whole thing was insane. She breathes in and out slow, trying to make sense of it. It doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. She's losing her mind. How had she even gotten here? How had she cheated on her boyfriend? How had she kissed Spencer and had sex with him? When had the sexual relationship turned romantic? When had the man fallen in love with her?

Spencer steps forward, his hands reaching out to her hips, pulling her close and pausing all of her thoughts. He smells good and feels nice. She rests her head against his chest, so confused, concentrating on him. Old Spice mixes with the smell of the grass, hours of playing Henry evident in his scent. He's warm, arms wrapped around her tight. His lips brush against her temple before he kisses her shoulder.

"I know this is sudden and strange. I know that I'm not one to admit emotions, that physical reactions - chemical reactions - are more believable and I do… I do understand that it's a chemical reaction inside me, but… I.. I've felt this years and the reaction is supposed decrease with time, a body becomes immune to the overdose of chemicals that are produced when someone loves another, but I still… feel the same, so… chemically speaking, it doesn't make sense so…I hypothesize that it has to be more than just chemicals….and anomalies are always worth looking into and… I want look into this, I want do this…I want to-"

His words are too much. In his weird way, he's telling her exactly how he feels, without making it into something he's not and it actually means more than some big romantic moment. She reaches up to grab his face and kiss him, making him stop speaking. He pulls back.

"Morgan could-"

She kisses him again, ignoring his worries. Right now, he loves her enough to put what his intelligence tells him to the side and feel. To let things just be. She gives him the moment, not letting the threat of what Will might do, what the team might say, where they might go after this - letting all that just go to share a moment, to be the anomaly without consequence. His words mean more to her than any of Will's big moments and that tells her something. Does she love Spencer? She still doesn't know. But he loves her and that …that makes her feel something incredible. She wraps her arms around his neck, burying her face into his neck.

"Will you tell him?"

She nods into his neck. "It might take me some time… I…. I need to figure some things out, but… I will tell him."

His hand moves against her back. "Okay." He says, softly.

"Can I see you two again, soon?"

She pulls away. "us too?"

He smiles. "I got to make it up to Henry for not coming to see him."

She smiles and leans to kiss him. "Of course you can come see us. Tomorrow?"

"I'd love that."

She smiles at the fact he uses the word 'love' again. It's still so strange, but she's getting used to it.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's notes: So… my financial aid did not come into the middle of the April, which means I was unable to buy my books until then. And well, by April… they don't usually have the books. Anyways, means I have to do a 'quote log' of my creative writing book in a week along with my revisions and two response papers. I have been busy, busy, busy! (and will be excruciatingly busy still this weekend,) but I said I'd update on Monday.. And It's Thursday and no update, so…. Here you go.

* * *

There's a knock and Henry runs to the door. He stops, looking back her waiting, impatiently.

"Come on, Mommy!" He bounces. She smiles and picks him up before opening the door to see Spencer. Henry's eyes widen. "PENNER!" He screams in joy.

"Hey, buddy. Isn't Daddy sleeping?" Spencer asks and takes the little boy. JJ smiles as he holds him close. He looks a little more at ease with the boy, but maybe she's not imagining that. Henry's eyes widen.

"Oh no! We gotta be cwy-it!" Henry covers Spencer's mouth. "Shhhh!"

JJ chuckles as Spencer mumbles something against the little boy's hands. Henry giggles. "Tickles, Penner!"  
He pulls his hands away and Spencer sets the boy down.

"Can I see your fish?"

"NE-" Henry starts loudly before his eyes widen again. "-MO" He says, hushed. He runs towards his bedroom. "C'mon, Penner!"

Spencer turns to JJ who smirks. "Had to bring up the fish, huh?"

He gives a half-shrug. "He's still excited about it. I figured he'd be focused on something else by now."

"So you were experimenting on my son?" She teases and he smiles, embarrassed.

"Well, I…"

She chuckles and leans in to kiss his cheek. Spencer looks back at her, a little shocked but hides it quickly. "Go, Henry's waiting."

He looks like he wants to say something, but nods and moves towards Henry's room. He looks over at his shoulder with a half smile before moving into the bedroom. She moves to the kitchen to make the two boys lunch.

Criminal Minds || Life

She puts the sandwiches on the table before moving towards Henry's bedroom. She pauses at the door, seeing the two boys. She smiles, watching them. Henry and Spencer are both laying on their stomachs, coloring.

"I still think I would draw better if you let me sit up." Spencer says, pausing, green crayon in his hand.

Henry shakes his head. "You gotta lay down!"

Spencer makes a disbelieving look. "I'd have much more control of my arm if I wasn't laying on it." He's trying to reason with a two year old. Perfectly Spencer.

Henry looks up at him. "Nu uh! You gotta lay on your tummy!"

Spencer frowns, sighing. He seems to be trying to think of another reason why laying on his stomach isn't right. "Henry, I'm almost 30 years old."

Henry's eyes widen. "tree-ty?"

"Yes. That's 15 times your age. I… I'm too old to lay like this."

"fibteen times? That's lot?"

"That's a whole lot." Spencer nods. "Well… not a whole lot."

Henry looks confused. "Are you oder than Mommy?"

Spencer chews on his bottom lip. "No."

"Then you not too old! Mommy does it!"

"…She does?"

"Uh huh! Mommy draw good!"

JJ smiles in pride. At least her son thinks she can draw. Spencer turns back to his picture after Henry stops talking, focusing on his picture..

"Hey, Henry?"

Henry bites at his tongue as he colors. "Uh?"

She watches Spencer. He's not drawing or looking at the little boy. He looks like he's debating his words his head.

"I was thinking that… maybe it's okay with your mom and dad… that… and if you want, that is.. I mean, you don't have to…."

Henry looks up at Spencer, confused. JJ is watching him too, wondering where he's exactly going.

"Well, I know that sometimes you spend the night with Aunt Penny and Kevin and…." He chews on his bottom lip and JJ understands what Spencer's trying to ask.

"Would you like to come spend the night with me?"

Henry's eyes widen. "YEAH?"

Spencer's nervous look fades into a smile. "Yeah.. We'd have to ask your mo-"

"MOMMY!" He screams, trying to get up quickly. He spots his mom at the door before he can start running towards the kitchen to ask. He grins largely. "mommy! Mommy! I sweep at Penner house?"

Spencer looks at the woman, blushing when he realizes she has been there for atleast a few moments.

"I don't know, buddy. Aunt Penny's house is baby proofed."

"I could baby proof my apartment." Spencer says.

"Yeah! Mommy! He could!" Henry says and JJ laughs.

"Are you sure? You've been staying at Aunt Penny's for a long time. Wouldn't you get scared at Spencer's?"

"Nooooo!"

"I have a night light." Spencer adds and JJ raises an eyebrow. "…not that I'm still scared of the dark or anything." He mutters and she chuckles. She could kiss him.

"We have to ask your dad." She tells Henry, ruffling his hair. "But right now, we got to eat lunch. Go wash your hands."

"C'mon, Penner! We wash!"

Spencer stands up and begins to follow the boy, before JJ pauses him, hand on his chest.

"You want him to spend the night?"

"I thought… we could….bond or something."

She smirks. "Bond huh? He's two, Spence."

He shrugs, embarrassed. "I... Garcia mentioned that he always stays with her during you and Will's date nights, so…"

"What about your headaches?"

He bites at his bottom lip. "If they got bad, I'd bring him back. I wouldn't risk…"

"I know." She interrupts and smiles. Her hand moves down his chest, reaching for his hand. His fingers curl around hers.

"I want to get closer to him." He says softly. "I want this." He murmurs.

Her heart leaps in her chest. She knows that Will's asleep in the master bedroom. Close enough to catch them holding hands, speaking softly. And yet, she can't pull her hand away.

"You can't woo me by suddenly being very close with Henry." She teases. In reality, his attempts to closer with Henry was actually having an effect. He smiles, his thumb brushing against her wrist.

"By the blush on your cheeks and the way your breathing has changed, I think you might be lying." He murmurs, squeezing her hand before letting go and moving towards the bathroom. She gapes at him before following him.

"You're not allowed to do that." She says, leaning against the bathroom door. Spence standing behind Henry, who's on his stool. Henry's pouring the soap into Spencer's hands.

"Now rub tog ever!" Henry instructs and giggles when Spencer rubs his hands together with the little boy's hands inbetween his. "Penner! Not my hands too! I already wash!"

"You can't be too clean." Spencer tells him before looking back at JJ. "You're no longer a team mate, I'm more than allowed to profile you now."

JJ rolls her eyes. "You know that rule is more about not profiling friends more than team mates. We're still a family, regardless of job status."

Henry squishes his soapy hands while Spencer turns on the water. "Squishy." He giggles. "Bad squishy! Bad squishy!"

Spencer, about to respond to JJ, looks down at Henry. "What?"

Henry looks up at him like he's got three heads. "Nemo, Penner. Neeeemmmooo!"

JJ just laugh before moving back to the kitchen as Henry half-explains half-babbles the 'squishy' scene of the fish movie.

Criminal Minds || Life

After lunch, Henry demands to watch Finding Nemo again with Spencer, to make sure that the man knows all the scenes because he wasn't paying attention the first time. The little boy falls asleep a third through the movie, his thumb on his mouth as he rests on Spencer's rest. Spencer continues to watch the movie though, hand rubbing up and down the boy's back. She notices his eyes flash when it gets to the scene that Henry had been telling him about.

"Morning." She hears before she feels a kiss on her cheek. She jumps instantly before looking at Will, whose eyes move to Spencer and Henry briefly. She gives Will her best smile.

"Hey… ahh, You're up early."

"I was going to take Henry to the park today." He tells her before kissing her lips. She pulls away from the kiss, eyes moving to Spencer who hasn't pulled his eyes away from the screen. She feels wrong kissing Will in front of him. …Was that a sign? Did that tell her that she loved Spencer more than Will? God, she hated this. She should feel bad about holding hands with Spencer in the house of her and her boyfriend, not kissing Will in front of her former colleague. She shakes away the thoughts, running her hand over Will's arm.

"I just made Henry a sandwich for lunch. Do you want me to make you something?"

"No, I'm good. I'm just going to make a bowl of cereal. Thank you, cherie."

She swears she sees Spencer's jaw shift as Will leans into kiss her again. She turns her head to the tv at the last minute and Will kisses her cheek before moving to the kitchen.

Once he's far enough away, Spencer breathes out through his nose. It reminds her of Henry when he's fussing about not wanting to go to bed. Arms wrapped around his little body as he pushes the air out of his nose as he pouts. She bites at her bottom lip before she shifts in her seat.

"Are you jealous?" She says, under her breath, before her eyes move to Will who is facing away from them in the kitchen.

"Incredibly." Spencer answers, truthfully. She shifts in her seat again, trying to hide the smirk.


	25. Chapter 25

Spencer leaves soon after Will finishes his breakfast. She feels bad for him and debates whether she should tell Will now or later. She doesn't just want to spring it on the man. Definitely not with Henry here. Maybe she would wait until Henry was with Spencer. God, that would be bad too. How was she supposed to tell Will at all? 'Sorry, honey, but I've been sleeping with my best friend, pass the potatoes. Oh, by the way, he's in love with me and I think that I have feelings for him too. Can you set those back down over there?' Her stomach aches. Why had she told Spencer she'd tell him at all. Oh, right, because he was in love with her and he wanted to be there for her and Henry. He wanted to whole package. He wanted it all and it made her feel special. But Will made her feel special too. He had just given her a special day complete with a bubble bath. She sighs before making her way to the couch.

"He looks like he's feeling better." Will mentions and JJ looks at him confused.

"His headaches." He explains and she nods.

"Right. He went to the doctor and they said nothing was physically wrong. It's just stress."

Will nods. "It's a good thing you got out of there then, huh?" He wraps her arm around her shoulder and she leans into his touch a little.

"Yeah." She says, softly. There's a long pause. "Will?"

"Mmhmm?" He murmurs, eyes on the tv.

"Spencer and I…."

He looks at her and she bites her tongue, briefly. "We were talking about letting Henry spend the night with him. Maybe next Saturday?"

Will thinks about it. "We could go out. Do you think he could handle Henry?"

She nods. "I think he'd be excellent with him. Hotch lives near Spencer too, if something happened."

Will nods. "Yeah, that sounds fine to me."

She nods. "Great." She says as his attention turns back to the tv. "Great." She murmurs to herself.

**Criminal Minds || Life**

She sits in the room with her son, watching him as he sleeps. He looks like an angel, she thinks and wants to get up and just hold him. He's growing up so much and is too smart. She wonders if having Spencer around, teaching him has been good for Henry. He seems to talk and know more words than most of his little friends at the park. He can talk in sentences when the other kids can barely put 3 words together. But it makes her a bit proud too. Her son was so smart and she knew that Spencer had helped with that. Garcia too. Would that continue if Spencer and she continued to be close like this? If things continued and Spencer and she became something more would Henry become more like Reid? Did she want that? The doorbell rings and she gets up, brushing Henry's hair out of his face before she kisses his forehead. She makes her way to the door and smiles when she sees Spencer.

"Hey."

"Hey." He says, softly, before he bits on his bottom lip. "I think I left my personal phone in Henry's room."  
She raises an eyebrow. "Your personal phone? Since when do you have a personal cell phone?"

"After Henry was born, I got a cell phone with a Las Vegas area code, so that my mother could call me and uh, my dad too."

"You've been in contact with your dad?"

He shrugs, sitting down on the couch. "A little. We were supposed to call each other once a month, but… he's busy, I guess."

She frowns, sitting on the arm of the couch. "I'm sorry, Spence."

He shrugs again and an uneasy silence overcomes them.

"So you didn't decide to come over until Will was at work?"

He makes a face. "I don't like him."

"You never have." She says and he looks at her.

"No, no I haven't." He says, honestly. He looks at her before reaching out to her. She smirks and moves to his lap.

"Why not?" She asks as his hands move up her side before resting his forehead against her shoulder.

"He has you." He murmurs so soft she barely hears him. She sucks in her bottom lip before her hand runs over the back of his neck, fingers brushing against his scalp.

"You have me right now."

He looks up and shakes his head. He takes her free hand, the right with the ring. She looks at the Topaz stone before looking at him.

"It's for Henry."

"It's more than that." He corrects. "He asked you to marry him. I remember, he told us in New York,"

"And I said no. Because I knew he wasn't the one." She says before she sits back on his lap, taking her hand back. "Wait.. I didn't mean that you're the…" She pauses and frowns. Why had she said that? She wasn't sure that Will wasn't the one. ….was she? "Spence, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm confused on how I feel, still."

He nods. "I know. I shouldn't have asked you to tell Will. I just…"

She shakes her head, cutting him off. "I'm going to tell him, but… I can't…. I can't promise you that I won't…. I'm going to need some time. For Henry and to figure things out."

His hands slid around to her back and he pulls her closer. "I understand."

She smiles, resting her hands on his shoulders. "You're amazing, Spence."

He gives her the bashful smile and her own smile widens before she leans into kiss him. His hand moves up under her shirt as the kiss intensifies quickly. His hands on her skin explore greedily and she pushes against him, enjoying the fact that she's one of few that have seen the genius like this.

"Mommy?" A voice calls out and she tries to scramble out of Spencer's arms quickly which makes him hold on her tighter, having not heard the little boy obviously.

"What?" He asks, rushed, before looking over her shoulder. His eyes widen as he lets her go.

"Henry, hi." He says, voice cracking.

Henry, still half asleep, frowns and tilts his head. "Mommy, I theersy."

"Okay, buddy. Let's get you some water." She moves towards him, picking him up. "You want a bottle or a sippy cup, baby?"

"bottle, mommy." He says, resting his head on her head.

"Okay." She kisses his head before looking back at Spencer who hasn't moved from the couch.

**Criminal Minds || Life**

After she fills the bottle and moves back to the living room, going to the lay Henry back in bed, she notices Spencer is gone. She frowns, moving to Henry's bedroom. She hadn't heard the door open, so maybe he was just in the bathroom or something. She lays the boy back in the bed before ruffling his hair.

"You okay now, baby?"

Henry holds onto his bottle with one hand, other hand curls around hers. He nods, sleepily.

"I love you." She says, pulling her hand away to rub his back.

"Lov' you." He mutters around the bottle and she sits, waiting for him to fall asleep before she leaves.

She moves back to the living room and frowns when she doesn't see Spencer. Did he leave? She moves to the door, looking outside to see if his car is still here. She frowns, seeing the genius sitting on the stair. She moves and sits next to him. "Hey."

"I shouldn't have came over. Henry saw…"

"Henry didn't see anything. He would have been much more excited knowing you were here."

Spencer stares at his hands. "I'm sorry. It was… It's s disrespectful for us to do that in…"

"Hey." She grabs his hands. "We didn't do anything. Henry didn't see anything. Everything's okay."

He looks down at her hand over his. "JJ.. I can't do this much more. I mean, I want… I love you, but you're…this is wrong."

She frowns. "I'm going to tell him."

"Soon?"

"Next Saturday, when you watch Henry."

He nods, bringing her hand to his lips. "I'm sorry."

She smiles, leaning against him. "Spence. It's fine. You're a good guy. What we're doing is…. It isn't you."

"It isn't you either." He says, looking at her and she nods, leaning her forehead against his temple.

"Thanks."

He turns his head to kiss her, briefly before he stands. "I'll see you Saturday."

"Before Saturday?"

He smiles, blushing a little. "I could come see Henry sometime in the week. If we don't have a case."

She groans. "You'll have a case."

He chuckles before she stands and kisses him again. "Be safe, okay?"

"Always."

"No going anywhere alone, Spencer."

He looks embarrassed. "She told you about that?"

"She sure did. And we're going to talk about it later. I have to get back in. I don't like leaving Henry alone."

He nods. "I could call you when I get home. You can yell at me then."

She laughs. "Sounds like a plan." 


	26. Chapter 26

Author Notes: School is over for awhile, at least. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to post this, but my writing interest goes through cycles and JJ/Reid love is at a low right now, but I will try to keep a chapter a week at the very least, so you guys can continue to enjoy the story! If you're a Reid-fan and want to read some more of my stories, I have started the Reid/Lila Deal Breaker story, called One Small Step. It runs parallel with Breaking the Cycle, which is elle/morgan with some elle/reid too. If you haven't, go check out those stories!

* * *

JJ knocks on the door before Spencer opens with a smile.

"Come in. Look!"

She walks inside to see the house completely baby-proofed. She laughs, even the corners of his coffee table had bumpers on them. "Spencer he's 2 years old, not 6 months old!"

He turns and frowns. "But you said…"

She shakes her head, still smiling, before she walks up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "It's amazing. You're amazing."

He smiles, bashfully. "I just wanted it to be perfect."

"It is."

"I got toys and coloring books and… I went to grocery store and got these little boxes of food with chicken nuggets and-" He frowns again when she laughs again. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just so excited. It's cute."

"Oh." The smile's back.

She leans in and kisses him before he turns his head. "JJ, we can't. Not until Saturday."

"Right. I'm sorry."

"But that's only…" He pauses and she sees his tongue in between his teeth before his eyes flash, all so quickly. "91 hours and 36 minutes, depending on the time you tell him at and-"

"Spence." She interrupts. "It's 4 days, that's good enough for me."

He nods. "Right, four days."

She kisses his cheek. "I wish I could stay, but…Will…."

He nods, hands grabbing hers and pulling them away from his neck. "Right."

"But four days." She says.

He nods. "Okay."

Criminal Minds || Life

Saturday comes and Spencer's on a case, leaving JJ with a crying Henry.

"But Mommy! You said I could go to Penners!"

"I know, buddy, but he's fighting the bad guys."

"But I see Penner! NOW!" He cries and JJ picks him up.

"Baby, he's working."

"Make him come back!"

She bounces him as he screams.

"Henry, Daddy's sleeping. You got to be quiet."

"NO!"

JJ winces.

"Okay, okay! How about we go see Aunt Penny, maybe she can video call Spencer?"

Henry huffs. "I see Penner?"

"We'll see."

Henry's bottom lip juts out. "I see Penner!"

"Okay."

Criminal Minds || Life

Garcia turns in her chair. "Peanut! Oh little man, what's wrong?"

Henry sniffles as he crawls into her lap. "Penner left me."

"Ohhh cutie, Spencer and Aunt Emmy and Uncle Derek are working to catch the bad guys."

"I go with Penner!"

Garcia hugs the little boy. "Tonight's your sleep over, huh?"

Henry cries. "He go and I no see him."

She swivels in her chair. "Well, lucky for you, you got the best god mommy in the world and I can get him on the computer."  
She hit's a few keys before kissing the little boy's head.

"As soon as they answer, we will get you a Spencer hello!"

"I see him?"

"You sure can, if he's at the precinct, which Reid usually is."

"Weed?"

Garcia giggles. "Your Spencer."

"Oh." Henry stares at the screen before someone pops up, a blonde that Henry doesn't remember. "You no Penner!"

Garcia smiles. "Hey, Ash is Spencer around?"

"Yeah, hold on."

JJ watches as Spencer sits in front of the computer. She smiles when he smiles at Henry.

"Hey Henry."

"PENNER! YOU Left me!"

"I…" Spencer looks confused.

"I no sweep now!"

"Ooh. Our sleep-over. Oh, Henry. I'm working."

"But Mommy and Daddy say okay!"

"I know and as soon as I get home, you can come over, okay?"

"But NOW."

Spencer's eyes widen as the boy gets angry. "I…uh…"

"How about tonight, you come over to my place, Henry?" Garcia asks.

Henry sucks in his bottom lip and shakes his head. "PENNER!"

"Spencer will come get you when he gets home. They'll probably be back tomorrow, right, Reid?"

"Maybe. I mean it's very-"

"RIGHT, Reid?"

"Right."

"See. You can spend tonight with me and tomorrow with Spencer." Garcia says, ruffling his hair before looking at JJ. "And Mommy can have her date night with Daddy."

JJ looks at Spencer. "Right."

Henry sighs. "Penner come see me now?"

"Not now, but later. I promise."

Henry lays his head on Garcia's chest. "Okay." JJ watches as his thumb moves into his mouth. "I see Penner?"

"You can watch Spencer as long as you want."

"But I got to work, so I can get back, okay?" Spencer says before he moves the laptop to where Henry can watch, but not see any of the board.

Henry just nods, sleepily, eyes on the man.

Criminal Minds || Life

Garcia rubs the little boys back as she looks back at JJ.

"He's crazy about him."

"I know." JJ takes the little boy from her so she can get back to work. "You don't have to watch him tonight. Reid can get him when he gets back and-"

"I may not be a profiler, but I know that this sleepover was more than just letting Spencer watch Henry."

"I was going to tell Will tonight."

"Oh." Garcia looks at the little boy. "I'll watch him. They've been there for days now, he'll probably be home tonight. He can pick Henry up when he gets there."

"Yeah, but if he doesn't and I tell Will now, he's not going to want Spencer watching him."

"Excuses, excuses. You need to tell him. I'll be over as soon as possible. Have him ready."

Criminal Minds || Life

"So Penelope's watching him?" Will asks, buttoning up his shirt.

"She called about 20 minutes ago. The team is on a plane home, but she's going to pick him up so we're not late. Reid's going to pick Henry up from then."

Will nods, looking back at her. "And you're sure that he can do this?"

"I went to his place after work Wednesday. It's all set up. He even bought some things for them to do and Lunchables."

Will smiles. "That's good."

"And he has all the numbers already memorized, because…."

"Because he's Reid." Will says. "You look beautiful."

JJ smiles as he wraps her arms around her. "Thank you."

"Tonight is going to be amazing."

Her smile falters. "Amazing." 


	27. Confession

Author Notes:

Wow, it's been a while since I updated. This chapter was very hard to write. I didn't know how Will would really react. I rewrote it like 3 or 4 times and deleted them each time, until tonight - I decided that I was going to write one and just go with it. This is what came out. Henry's POV does appear, but I've labeled it. I tried to make it clear what was happening, but also put it in a way where he'd see it - so... hopefully you guys understand what he sees. Thank you. Enjoy.

Oh! for the JJ fans - if you like JJ/Emily, I've posted two drabbles - 100 words apiece - tinkering with the couple. They're called Spark and Babymaking. Check 'em out.

To the Spencer fans - There's a new Lila/Spence piece up that's going to go over Spence's big moments and how Lila and he would have got through them if they were together. Kinda like the DB Series, but...not? It's called Effortlessly, check it out. :)

* * *

JJ sips her wine, nervously. She had no clue how she was supposed to bring up the issue. Should she just wait until dinner was over, do it where there would be no crowd? Or was the fact that had an audience a good thing? He couldn't flip out on her too badly if there were people watching - he was a police officer in this city. He had an image to maintain. She licks her lips, looking behind her, wondering where their waitress is, she needed another glass of wine.

She turns back to Will to see him smile. "You look stunning." He says and she smiles.

"Thank you. You look pretty handsome too."

He gives her his smile and reaches out to touch her hand. "I'm glad that we get to do this. I know things have been…a little tense for a while, but all that's going to change."

She watches him, teeth clenched.

"I'm going to try and be a better boyfriend. I know that you would never cheat on me with-"

"I've been sleeping with Spencer." She says before he can finish and he stares at her, blankly.

He doesn't say anything for what feels like an hour.

"What?"

"I don't know how it happened. One day we were just friends and then… I… I didn't mean to hurt you, Will, It….it just happened."

He stares at her, same non-expression on his face. "What?" He repeats.

"I've been sleeping with Spencer…and… I…."

"Don't." He says, cutting her off. "Just stop."

She looks at him. "Will, I'm sor-"

"Jennifer." He cuts her off. "Just… please."

She sighs, looking at her empty glass again. Where was that waitress?

"How long? Before…before I switched shifts, is it because…"

The fact that he's not more angry scares her. She had expected him to yell, to be mad. The eerie calm was just making her feel worse.

"After you changed shifts. It wasn't because of that."

"Then what, Jennifer? What made you…After all the times you told me that I didn't have to worry about him. He's our son's godfather, JJ."

"I know. It was never like that. It just sort of happened."

He opens his mouth to say something, but the waitress finally comes.

"More wine?" She asks.

"Please." JJ says, staring at Will, whose shaking his head.

"Are you guys ready to order?"

Will stands. "I actually can't stay."

"Will…" JJ starts and Will holds up a hand.

"I can't do this, JJ…" He tosses his napkin on the table and she watches as he leaves. The waitress looks back at her.

"Do you still want that wine?"

"Yeah." She says, with a sigh. "Just bring the bottle."

**Criminal Minds || Life**

**(Henry's POV)**

Henry nibbles on a cracker as he watches Spencer build another tower, bigger than the last one.

"Whoooa!" He says before he grins and kicks at it, making it fall. He squeals in delight as Spencer looks back at him.

"That's not nice."

"I dinosaur, Penner! I step on the buildings! Roooar!" He says before picking up a piece of cheese.

"You're supposed to make sandwiches out of them, buddy. Here, look."

Henry watches as Spencer takes a cracker and cheese and ham and puts them together.

"I no like it that way." Henry makes a face and Spencer shrugs. "You eat it!"

Spencer smiles at him and pops the whole thing in his mouth. Henry's eyes widen big.

"PENNER! You coke!"

The man chews before he speaks. "I coke? Choke? Oh, no. I'm okay."

There's a knock on the door and Henry looks at Penner. "I answer?"

Spencer frowns and Henry knows that means no. He sighs. "Okay."

"Just sit right there, buddy. Watch the cartoon." he says before he gets up and walks to the door.

Henry pays attention to the lion on the screen as he grows up and dances with the other animals.

He hears a lot of loud noises before he swears he hears his daddy's voice. He looks back over to where Spencer is and his eyes widen he sees his Dad.

"Daddy!" He gets up and runs over to the door, grabbing on the man's leg. "You no be here! I spend night with Penner!"

When his dad doesn't pick up immediately, he looks between the two men. His Daddy looks very mad, giving Spencer a mean look and Spencer's face has red stuff running down it. His hands have the red stuff too.

"Penner! You messy!"

He looks back at his dad, who isn't helping Penner with the mess. He just standing there, hands like circles - Spencer had taught him what circles were. Like cookies and balls. He looks between the two again before he sighs. "Fine, I cean it!"

He runs towards the kitchen, where Spencer had gave him something to clean up the milk he had spilt early and grabs it before running back to the two men. They're talking again, their voices loud and mean. He frowns before he tugs on Spencer's pants.

"I cean it, Penner."

Spencer looks at the little boy before he picks him up, taking the cloth. He puts it up to his face. "Thank you, Henry. Will you do me a BIG favor?"

Henry nods. "I help you cean up the mess!"

Spencer smiles at him, but it looks funny. "You did, but I need you to do me another favor, alright?"

Henry nods, he likes when Spencer needs his help. It makes him feel like a big boy. And Mommy's always telling him that he needs to be a big boy.

"I need you to go into my room while me and your daddy talk, okay? And I need you to stay in there until I come get you. You can play with whatever toy you like."

"Even the rocket ship?" His eyes widen. Spencer had told him that he couldn't play with the rocket ship - that it was a….collewictable or something like that. He didn't know what that meant, though.

"Even the rocket ship." Spencer says and Henry grins largely.

"Okay! I go play!" He wiggles to get down and the man lets him down. Henry runs to grab the rocket ship and moves into Spencer's bed room, running around with the toy.

**Criminal Minds || Life**

**(Back to JJ's POV)**

She ends up at Reid's, figuring Will is packing or at the house. She doesn't know what to do and with so much wine in her, she just…wants to see the genius. She needs a hug and needs to see his smiling face when she tells him that she told Will. She knocks on the door and waits, leaning against the wall of the house. Henry should already be asleep or so she hopes. It was late.

The door opens and she pushes off the wall before her eyes widen.

"What the hell?" She asks, looking at the man's face. His face is red and bloodied. His left eye is already starting to darken heavy with a bruise. She reaches out to touch his face and he winces, grabbing her wrist.

"….Will came back."

Her eyes widen even more. "Henry?"

"He's with Garcia. Will came over and he punched in the face…and Henry came out and Will didn't do anything else until Henry was safe in my room… I called Garcia as soon as Will was gone. He didn't see anything."

"he punched you?"

"Multiple times."

She touches his nose again and he grimaces. "Oh, Spence.. I didn't.. he was so calm when I told him, I never thought he'd…" Her eyes tear up as she continues to look at his face. "You need to go to the hospital. Your nose…"

"I'm fine. It's not broken."

"I can't believe he did this. Spence, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I've had worse." He says and smiles, trying to lighten the mood, but it just hurts her more. She leans her forehead against his shoulder.

"This is all my fault."

His arms wrap around her and she pulls away, but his grip tightens around her. "It's not. I asked you to tell him, I… I knew that this might happen…"

"But your face…"

"It doesn't hurt that much. It'll heal. I have you now."

She pulls away to look at him. She wants to say something but she doesn't even know where to begin. She rests her head against his shoulder again for a moment.

She pulls back, suddenly. "I have to go. I have to get to Henry."

He nods before grabbing his keys. "I'll drive you."

She starts to fight him, but she knows that there's no use in arguing with him. She was in no way capable to drive.


End file.
